Episode 8 - Domestic Violence: A Modern Plague

Even with raised awareness and improved education, society continues to see shocking rates of domestic violence. So, what are we missing? What are we not wanting to see?

As usual, Serge Benhayon flips the topic on its head by taking the 100 steps back approach towards decency and respect. This spherical observation of humanity doesn’t tread the usual path of male persecution, it’s not bound by gender and brings back the personal responsibility required to truly action change.

Rebecca Asquith and Serge bring revelation after revelation. When we focus on ‘fixing’ domestic violence we fail to see the allowed abuse that has crept into our relationships along the way. Could there be abuse in an underhanded comment, raised eyebrow, cutting statement or even… hiding our own beauty in lieu of protection?

Just as domestic violence has no place in our community, this is a must watch episode to support bringing the depth of love back to relationships. Which really, we all want and deserve.

384 comments

  • Gill Randall December 15, 2018   Reply →

    This is fantastic tv to watch, exposing the abuse in society and calling it out for what it is. The inspiration to bring us back to decency to return to our own beauty within first is magical to learn the detail of how fragile both men and women are.

  • Ariana Ray December 15, 2018   Reply →

    If you search on you tube you will find any number of awareness raising films on the impact of domestic violence. They are great in that they educate on the impact of domestic violence, and yet are heart wrenching to consider so many of us live with this as a daily reality. It is indeed a modern plague.

  • Michael Brown December 7, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence is definitely a dis-ease in our society as are many other things. It would be far more honest if we broadened our horizons to what is truly out of our order.

  • hm December 7, 2018   Reply →

    Abuse is living in the most subtle of places. I am seeing it more and more as I say no to the bigger things. I can see how manipulation can be abusive and it really does show where the world is at.

  • Jennifer Smith December 5, 2018   Reply →

    I saw a man today whilst I was at work and he was rough and tumble on the outside, but I could see very clearly how caring, attentive and very sensitive he was. It was actually very beautiful to observe and see how his rough and tumble exterior was just that.

  • Jennifer Smith December 5, 2018   Reply →

    Really quite incredible conversations. That offer us the opportunity to look at our own lives more deeply. Not to criticise or judge ourselves or others but to look at our lives as honestly as we can and see where we have contributed to the current state of our world. Serge is offering us more. It is up to us to stop and look at this ourselves or not.

  • Michael Brown December 3, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence is rife and only so because of our tendency to hide it to ‘protect’ the ones we ‘love’.

  • Ariana Ray December 1, 2018   Reply →

    Where we seem to have come to with domestic violence is to normalise it amongst families, generations have felt the impact and horror of it, yet how many will prosecute their partners after an assault? Very few, it’s accepted as regular and as one lady said to me today ‘everyone does it don’t they?’ No, they don’t, and no one needs to experience this.

  • Christoph Schnelle November 28, 2018   Reply →

    An ancient and a modern plague, being slowly brought out in the open.

  • Michael Brown November 26, 2018   Reply →

    Why if we are ‘evolving’ as a society are we abusing each other more? This is about as backwards as it comes…

  • Jennifer Smith November 23, 2018   Reply →

    Such an important conversation on abuse. How far we have gone into the exploration of abuse is everywhere for us all to see and it is hurting us beyond measure. But yet we continue and delve further into its extremes. It is time for us to see that this is not the way and never has been the way.

  • SCE November 18, 2018   Reply →

    Wow what a realisation to realise that not adoring or appreciating your partner is a form of abuse, this makes so much sense. We are sensitive beings and made of love this is why it hurts when someone is anything other then love.

  • Michael Brown November 17, 2018   Reply →

    It’s interesting to see how far domestic violence goes without it being a ‘real problem’ for the victim.

  • Shami November 17, 2018   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon does such a great job here of bringing everything back to the foundations of how our societies live, or rather, how we live in our societies.

  • Joseph Barker November 16, 2018   Reply →

    It’s so ingrained to look for someone else to blame, but life comes down to nothing more than if we have connected and looked after ourselves. The power we hold in this is extreme.

  • Gil Randall November 6, 2018   Reply →

    On the radio today, it was said there was another stabbing of a 16 year old in London, the 119th person this year. Where is the decency and respect we can be living with each other? We have forgotten our foundations of Love that is within us all.

  • Lieke Campbell November 4, 2018   Reply →

    We really can’t say we don’t have purpose in our life because we don’t go out or have a day off because there is always purpose in being loving with ourselves and holding ourselves in such a way that we don’t disregard or abuse others even in the most subtle ways.

  • Joshua Campbell November 4, 2018   Reply →

    A truly loving relationship has the potential to greatly evolve us. It is absolutely delicious to deepen and expand together and I would say very very healthy to do so. It makes sense that if we do not want to evolve, destroying the relationship by introducing abuse into it is a sure-fire way to do it.

  • Joshua Campbell November 2, 2018   Reply →

    If only conversations like this are part of normal life. Not only would life be far more interesting, the deeper honesty and openness to truth allows for a much greater capacity to heal and re-commit to life.

  • Michael Brown November 2, 2018   Reply →

    Education better than ever but health worse than ever… something just doesn’t add up here, and instead of defending it this video goes a long way to actually explore what could be missing from the equation.

  • Rik Connors October 29, 2018   Reply →

    If you really listen to what Serge says you will hear the antidote to life i.e. and I’m fully aware, you have to deal with your hurts — before you can have a clear vision on life and what is truly going on — Serge gives it away when he shares a man hurts when he has the inability to express his tenderness.

    • Michael Brown November 4, 2018   Reply →

      “a man hurts when he has the inability to express his tenderness.” This is a deeply touching statement to read.

  • Ingrid Ward October 27, 2018   Reply →

    Once again, Serge Benhayon presents bucket loads of common sense and wisdom. But the one thing that stood out for me today was the discussion around the socially accepted saying “boys will be boys”. I have come to absolutely hate this saying, as to me it feels like a ‘get out of jail free’ card, for any sort of anti-social, abusive or disruptive behaviour from our young boys and young men. In fact, it is the acceptance of these ill-behaviours as young boys that lays the foundation for them as men, a foundation that at present is not very often built on the honouring and respect of women. It’s time that changed!

  • Michael Brown October 26, 2018   Reply →

    When we look at the world do we see the ‘evolution’ of technology and function? Or do we see the dissolution of our relationships, connection and love?

  • Michael Brown October 22, 2018   Reply →

    “Could there be abuse in an underhanded comment, raised eyebrow, cutting statement or even… hiding our own beauty in lieu of protection?” I love this level of unearthing, too much is buried under the carpet for my liking. Let’s sweep the rug out and actually look at what we are dealing with here. This video is a great start.

  • Gill Randall October 18, 2018   Reply →

    Having it spelt out by Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith in this conversation how we are living in such disrespect for each other, giving and receiving abuse in our daily lives feels so ugly. As Serge Benhayon talks about the natural expression of men being tenderness and women being nurturing, it gives us the practical way back to start living this way ourselves to start the healing and return to live with respect and decency.

  • Michael Brown October 15, 2018   Reply →

    If we really cared about our society wouldn’t we step up to the plate and do something about it? Or just sit around and talk about how bad it is… Serge Benhayon has inspired me to get up and do something rather than just pretend.

  • Michael Brown October 10, 2018   Reply →

    Stripping domestic violence back we can see that slowly by slowly we have allowed a progressional deterioration of our relationships to the point where we no longer say ‘no’ because we know we don’t want it, but we are forced to say ‘no’ because we are in physical danger.

  • Michael Brown October 6, 2018   Reply →

    There are more plagues in our society than we care to realise… just because it is not contagious doesn’t mean it’s not a disease!

    • Nattalija October 22, 2018   Reply →

      There are pockets of dis -ease in all corner of the world and our lives. They continue to breed when we choose to ignore what is truly going on.

  • Natalie Hawthorne September 29, 2018   Reply →

    Yes that is what we need to do is install an education with our younger adults and children that it is about decency and respect. Which also starts in our own lives as well and with one another, if we look within our own back garden and start to make those loving changes for ourself then when we go to talk to our younger ones at least they can feel that it is coming from a place that is true and lived.

  • Michael Brown September 25, 2018   Reply →

    When you have experienced an extreme it is way too easy to accept the low level version.

    • Christoph Schnelle November 28, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, if we encounter something really bad we can be more likely to accept something that is better but still pretty awful.

  • Michael Brown September 23, 2018   Reply →

    Our action should not be about preventing domestic violence, it should be about how to we preserve the innate delicacy of young boys so that they grow up knowing that they can stay that way.

  • Ingrid Ward September 16, 2018   Reply →

    To understand that abuse of any kind towards another begins with abuse towards ourself first, brings the responsibility of how we live our lives right back to us; there is no one to blame. But is humanity ready to hear this absolute truth, a truth that once lived will change the face of the lesser quality of society we have accepted for way too long.

  • Michael Brown September 15, 2018   Reply →

    Perhaps it is time for us to look beyond viruses and infections to identify plagues…

  • Janet September 15, 2018   Reply →

    The end of this episode is so very powerful, because Serge and Rebecca take the ugly subject of domestic violence and bring it back to what it is really about – the lack of honouring of our intrinsic beauty and sensitivity, and this goes equally for men and women…amazing.

  • Janet September 14, 2018   Reply →

    I love watching this episode, as here are two people who clearly care deeply about the state of humanity but are refreshingly not invested in any outcome or seeking to blame one party or another. True love holds all equal, as can be seen and felt in this conversation.

  • Janet September 12, 2018   Reply →

    I love how Serge does not cast blame on anyone or define us as victims and perpetrators, but brings it all back to the beautiful sensitivity within each and every one of us, and the responsibility we all have to foster this innate quality in ourselves and each other from young.

  • Michael Brown September 5, 2018   Reply →

    Only in our society do we need to differentiate between domestic and public violence… Surely just calling it all abuse and knowing it’s not acceptable is enough?

  • Ariana Ray September 4, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence has become deeply accepted in society, the adage ‘well everyone argues don’t they’ is said to excuse all manner of disrespectful and harming behaviour. Serge Benhayon tackles the reality of domestic violence head on.

    • Janet September 12, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, Ariana, bringing the truth to the reality of domestic violence means we all have to take responsibility for the quality of relationship we have with ourselves and then with one another.

  • Vanessa mchardy September 2, 2018   Reply →

    Amazing sharing and insight into how far we have dropped the bar in our relationships and exploring the level of abuse their is in our seemingly successful relations is by society standards. If we go from energetic standards life is very, very different.

  • Elizabeth Dolan September 1, 2018   Reply →

    Finally, an in-depth conversation about domestic violence and what is really going on with it. Thank you Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon for the conversation that had to happen.

    • Janet September 12, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, Elizabeth, this is the kind of conversation we need to have with each other all the time, as we start to reconnect to the innate sensitivity most of us have shut down some time ago.

  • Michael Brown September 1, 2018   Reply →

    Just because it’s normal doesn’t make it okay, and just because there is ‘worse’, one need not settle.

    • Janet September 15, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, Michael. Serge clearly explains here how standards slide, as we become more and more cut off from our ‘beingness’ in living the joy and beauty of our true nature. I love how it all comes back to honouring the being.

  • Gill Randall September 1, 2018   Reply →

    We would never ever contemplate living with the slightest of domestic violence if we understood and remembered within our bodies the true love inside that we are from. Going back the 100 steps takes us there.

  • Michael Brown August 30, 2018   Reply →

    We only see the horrible mass-death/disfigurements as plagues, but what if we took the energetic view and saw that there are plagues that have been woven in to every day normality?

  • Jane Keep August 27, 2018   Reply →

    “As usual, Serge Benhayon flips the topic on its head by taking the 100 steps back approach towards decency and respect” – and this is why these TV programmes are so amazing – they literally turn things around and you realise there is another way – and so much more to life than the physicality that we see around us.

    • Rowena Stewart September 13, 2018   Reply →

      Superb comment Jane Keep. This is the trademark of Serge Benhayon. Everything topic he presents on takes the same route out of the anticipated norms into a new way to live, to understand life, be compassionate towards others and make new choices. Fundamentally life changing.

  • Rowena Stewart August 27, 2018   Reply →

    We can so easily tread all over each other with our words and attitudes. When we focus on making our verbal and non-verbal communication all about love, we empower our selves to debase the violence we have so sadly come to accept as normal, as we resurrect Respect, Acceptance and Appreciation as the founding qualities in all our relationships with others and with self.

  • Gill Randall August 25, 2018   Reply →

    This episode exposes how we are all abusive to ourselves and to each other well before any physical abuse. I love how Serge Benhayon talks about the natural expression for a man is ‘the tenderness is trying to bust out’. But the teaching of how it starts with the tone of our voices, for women not carrying the tone of nurturing, or for men the tone of tenderness, it feels uncomfortable how he tells us that abuse starts with abuse to ourselves, our inability of our own expression first. We have so much to feel into with this and we can listen to the episode again and again to gain a deeper understanding.

  • Michael Brown August 23, 2018   Reply →

    There is something very powerful about taking 100 steps backwards. It tells us, don’t look at where you are from where you are, look at where you are from who you are.

  • Lorraine Wellman August 22, 2018   Reply →

    Another episode that everyone could gain some wisdom from, taking some steps back to see what is really going on.

  • Julie Matson August 20, 2018   Reply →

    It seems to me that we live in a society that is quick to blame and point the finger at each other and yet both men and women are contributing to the disrespect and dishonouring of each other.

  • Caroline Francis August 16, 2018   Reply →

    A man is deeply sensitive, there cannot be any comparison for equally a man and woman in their essence are divine, gentle and sensitive. I am exposed here how I can go deeper in appreciating and adoring the sensitivity within myself and therefore within another.

  • Caroline Francis August 16, 2018   Reply →

    What ultimately comes home to me from this very powerful and beautiful interview is that I have a responsibility and that responsibility is to adore myself, to accept and adore the beauty within, then no role of victim hood can play out in society for I am acknowledging and healing the hurts that arise from within and addressing them.

  • Ingrid Ward August 15, 2018   Reply →

    We definitely know we have set the bar too low when the words ‘well at least he doesn’t hit you’ are considered to be acceptable. In observing Serge Benhayon over many years it is very clear to me that the bar of decency he has set is extremely high but one we all ought to be accepting, and absolutely nothing lower.

  • Chan Ly August 15, 2018   Reply →

    Wow, to understand that not adoring each other is already abuse can be pretty confronting. As I reflect back to how often I forget to adore myself as well as adore others around me is a bit uncomfortable to be aware of and understanding that this is already an abusive choice is a huge eye-opener too. I have glimpses of feeling adored but I definitely do not feel adored consistently. This episode reminds me to absolutely adore everyone around me to the max and myself included and interesting to see how my relationship develops from here.

  • Michael Brown August 15, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence is not a cause of discontent in relationships, the discontent is there way before the violence begins.

    • David September 28, 2018   Reply →

      Agreed Michael, why do we let relationships get this way? I know I have in the past allowed all levels of abuse in relationships and did so as it was normal but it was not true or loving in any way.

  • Jonathan Stewart August 8, 2018   Reply →

    Appreciating that abuse of others arises first from self-abuse is a total game changer to how to resolve abuse and brings the responsibility right back to every single one of us.

    • Chan Ly August 15, 2018   Reply →

      I experienced a lot of abuse as a child and if I understood what you shared back then, I may have responded to the abuse very differently. Now my life is pretty much free of abuse and I am working on eliminating the very subtle forms of abuse by embracing responsibility and learning to love and adore myself more and more.

  • Samantha Davidson August 7, 2018   Reply →

    I remember growing up feeling suffocated by these ideas around about women being referred to as ‘sluts’ etc even if we do not sleep around…the judgement of our gender was there, to attempt to degrade and sully, When I look back it is so controlling to impose these ideas on both girls and boys, and we harm our entire lives and future generations to perpetuate and not challenge this behaviour.

  • Michael Brown July 28, 2018   Reply →

    Which should we focus on – War or Domestic violence? Knee-jerk reaction says war but a deeply felt into answer will reveal it is actually the latter.

  • Natalie Hawthorne July 20, 2018   Reply →

    It can be difficult to be super honest and real about how it first starts with our own abuse for ourselves. If and when we heal this and make loving choices towards ourselves then that naturally leads to those we are with. We wouldn’t accept anything that wasn’t loving.

  • Ingrid Ward July 18, 2018   Reply →

    If we have got to the point where we are abusing another, it is only possible because we have firstly been abusing ourselves. So then it follows the power to reduce the level of abuse in this world is in our hands, both literally and figuratively. This simply highlights that the attempts to reduce domestic violence are only temporary bandaids as the root cause of the problem is 100 steps back from the issue that has manifested.

    • Samantha Davidson August 7, 2018   Reply →

      So true and abuse is endemic in society at all levels, and most of us choose to abuse or abuse ourselves on some level. Abuse simply perpetuates more abuse, it escalates as we have low standards of what is acceptable for ourselves and each other.

  • Michael Brown July 5, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence should be our first port of call, not “sorting out the middle east”.

  • Shami June 26, 2018   Reply →

    How extraordinary to say, that the deeper cause of some of our greatest problems is in the fact that we hold back our beauty. How simple would it then be to educate our children in ways of self-love and nurturing so that beauty is not something sought by external means or measures but to appreciate that it is actually in the expressive core of who you are.

    • Chan Ly August 15, 2018   Reply →

      Great point Shami. I have been wondering how to teach my children to be more open in sharing their beauty and I realise the reason I am struggling to lead the way is that I am shying away from showing the world my inner beauty. It is obvious that I can only inspire people around me through the quality of my movements and my willingness to express all of who I am.

  • Lieke Campbell June 19, 2018   Reply →

    I really feel how sensitive we all truly are, including men, and how abuse goes so much deeper than shouting or physical abuse. I notice it when I am not feeling so good in myself and then push my partner a bit away just by how I hold my body or what I say, this does affect my partner. It wasn’t until watching this thought that I can see that to stop this is to feel how beautiful I am in these moments so I am full-filled again and don’t need to abuse myself or protect myself.

  • Samantha Davidson June 10, 2018   Reply →

    We need to look back at the root of our actions, where they come from not just at the results. Such as how we hold back and do not live with responsibility, what are the ripples of this choice. This is huge. It turns victimhood, abuse, the dynamics of our relationships on its head.

  • Natalie Hawthorne June 10, 2018   Reply →

    I really get what you are saying Rebecca about the abuse that we can go into in relationships that has any form of expectations to it. In that moment we are saying that the other person is not enough or absolutely amazing for being who they are. It totally creates the space for further undermining each other and keeps each other in a place that is not of their true potential.

    • Nattalija July 1, 2018   Reply →

      Keep each other in a space that does not honour our true potential leads us down the slide of resentment.

    • Chan Ly August 15, 2018   Reply →

      I can relate to what Rebecca shared about expectations on relationships. I can see so clearly now how placing expectations on someone is a huge destructive tool. It impacts on all our relationships every time we resort to using this as an excuse to not evolve. And, like you shared Natalie, the expectation is an undermining of each other and it blocks people from being who they are and it is one of the biggest killers in relationships.

  • Ariana Ray June 9, 2018   Reply →

    “Every boy is tender” says Serge Benhayon, so what is going on that we have domestic violence the way it is? This is great TV which rattles the cage that society has put itself in with abuse being accepted as a very skewed ‘normal’. We are making the tender boy into a brute it seems, and need to look at how this comes about.

  • Joseph Barker June 9, 2018   Reply →

    We think we have a free ticket to live, so no wonder we resist hearing that we each are presidents of energy, dropping nuclear bombs of irresponsibility in our everyday life. So much easier to say we are powerless and blame somebody else.

  • Ingrid Ward June 8, 2018   Reply →

    I came to understand the depth of domestic violence during my term as house mother at our local women’s refuge some years ago. It was a huge wake up call for me as to what was going on behind closed doors and a time full of huge lessons. I used to wonder how a woman who had sought refuge and spent several months getting her life back together would then return to her partner, only to return to the house several months later under the same circumstances. It took a while, but finally I realised that this sort of home life was all some of the women knew, having grown up with violence as a daily normal. Therefore, the patterns were so ingrained that the cycle was often impossible to break, even though there was a part of them that really wanted to change the way they were living.

  • Gill Randall June 5, 2018   Reply →

    I hate to hear the details of the way we have learnt to behave in rejection that Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith are discussing here. We can all feel the abusive energy of this, and how we live our lives with our lack of self-love. Serge Benhayon explains how we don’t understand the level of beauty that we are, and it stems from us not holding our beauty. The understanding of our essence of who we are is very profound to changing this abusive way of living.

  • Michael Brown June 4, 2018   Reply →

    I love that these interviews take a look at human existence from outside the human perspective… so much more can be explained this way.

    • Nattalija June 24, 2018   Reply →

      A perspective we have been blinded by for many centuries.

  • Michael Brown June 2, 2018   Reply →

    I listened to a presentation yesterday where it was addressed that the largest percentage of abuse occurs in homes not on battlefields, and what’s worse is it’s concealed between 4 walls so can be hidden whereas at least with the atrocities of war the wounds and casualties are evident.

  • Ingrid Ward May 27, 2018   Reply →

    Applying Serge Benhayon’s ‘100 steps’ process of looking at any issues to the plague of domestic violence, we would need to go right back to the beginning when a baby is born. A beautiful new born baby does not have an abusive bone in his/her body, so what happens to propel a man or woman to abuse not only others, but also themselves? I feel that the process of unravelling the answer to this question may take quite a few more steps.

  • Natalie Hawthorne May 26, 2018   Reply →

    We all actually know what is a level of decency and respect that we all deserve no matter what so when we have created a life that is void of this we are living in a lot of tension and self-abuse internally and potentially quietly ignoring every cell and particle in our bodies and what they are asking of us.

    • Samantha Davidson August 7, 2018   Reply →

      This is a great observation and something I can relate to in my life. We all feel that tension, it is definitely telling us something that we really need to feel and respond to.

  • Joshua Campbell May 24, 2018   Reply →

    Love the comment about the horrors of society being a mere concealment of the amazingness we truly are. So true!

  • Alison Valentine May 20, 2018   Reply →

    We have yet to register that abuse can be in the form of an underhanded comment, cutting words or a certain look, because we have let our standards drop so much that we are only aware of abuse when it becomes physical abuse. We need to re-instate standards both in our parenting and education system to make sure that abusive behaviour of any kind is no longer tolerated

  • Joshua Campbell May 16, 2018   Reply →

    Love Serge’s comment about the importance of the details. It explains why so many including myself have sought to at times dismiss the subtle details or not give enough weight to them as it is a way of hiding what is truly going on and what your intentions actually are

  • Melinda Knights May 16, 2018   Reply →

    We should never leave behind the way we treat babies and children with tenderness and gentleness, nor should we stop understanding how delicate and precious they are, but simply carry that through for the entirety of our lives respecting everyone for the sensitive and beautiful being that they are.

  • HM May 10, 2018   Reply →

    Reducing protection reduces the reaction of abuse. And as is shared here – abuse happen both ways – to men and women – physical and mental. This interview starts to deconstruct what is behind what leads to what we all see as abuse.

  • Jenny James May 8, 2018   Reply →

    An awesome interview. Taking abuse it back to its roots , the very place that it starts and how it is has become unacceptably acceptable to undermine each other at a certain level. What does that lead to? We definitely have to get very real and honest about our own abuse and self abuse.

  • Kathleen Baldwin May 3, 2018   Reply →

    In this episode Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon set the bar for decency way above what we as a denatured society have made normal through the self-abuse that we have allowed way before we have abused or been abused by another. Watching this has brought to my awareness the extent of the responsibility I have to counter the current levels of abuse at even to most subtle levels as to the tone of voice I use when addressing another. What is on offer here is priceless as it gives us such a great understanding of how we are contributing to the problem and how we can address this.

    .

    • Ingrid Ward June 8, 2018   Reply →

      Yes Kathleen, what Serge has presented in this episode has also woken me up to the responsibility I have to become aware of any abuse that occurs in my everyday life, no matter how subtle it is, such as “the tone of voice I use when addressing another”. I can see now that if these more subtle forms of abuse are not called out they create a foundation for the bigger forms that make up the shocking statistics we are regularly presented with. I can no longer sit back and expect someone else to fix the problem, of abuse, any fixing starts with me.

  • Elaine Arthey April 28, 2018   Reply →

    Dismissiveness is so hurtful at any level and I love how Serge shares that there is tenderness just wanting to burst out under this dismissive stance. So too when we feel dismissiveness towards us how would it be to let this tenderness out then rather than coming up with a shield to guard ourselves from it?

  • Natalie Hawthorne April 26, 2018   Reply →

    We don’t really want to have to look at the nitty gritty and see the different levels of abuse that are playing out in our lives, especially the ones we have with ourselves. Hence why we can find it difficult to say no to it because potentially we see it as a form of punishment or something that we deserve if we are not prepared to be absolutely loving and supportive of ourselves.

  • Ariana Ray April 22, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence is such a damaging thing for anyone to experience, the force that comes in to families is devastating to them and to the communities we live in. Saying no to any kind of abuse in our own lives allows us to have a foundation to say no to an kind of abuse.

  • Jonathan Stewart April 21, 2018   Reply →

    The acknowledgement and exposure of the subtlety of abuse inflicted upon men by women brings a balance that is greatly needed to bring about true change to the abuse between men and women.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh May 20, 2018   Reply →

      Very true. This episode describes it well how it is a fallacy to imagine abuse is a gender issue and also how there is abuse present well ahead of what in the end we call abusive.

  • Ariana Ray April 18, 2018   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon unpicks the heinous nature of domestic violence (DV) and how we have accepted it as normal. It’s never normal, it’s always abuse. The way Serge Benhayon addresses DV is very much needed in the world today – superb TV Serge Benhayon.

  • Joshua Campbell April 17, 2018   Reply →

    It is so refreshing to hear Serge and Rebecca talk about relationships like this. Before I heard Serge Benhayon present, I had never heard or even considered that abuse could be at the level of not adoring or appreciating someone. Yet it is definitely abusive because by not adoring or appreciating another (including yourself) you can leave another less. We are more than just function, we are human beings and not honouring this fact is itself and illness.

    • Jonathan Stewart April 21, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, I agree Joshua. What Serge Benhayon presents here brings a whole new and much deeper understanding of abuse and in its turn a deeper understanding of love and appreciation.

  • Michael Brown April 15, 2018   Reply →

    Abuse is abuse as long as it is not love. True love that is, not the emotionalised dramatised indulgent comforting conditional arrangements we claim are love.

  • Michael Brown April 11, 2018   Reply →

    The idea of “an underhanded comment, raised eyebrow, cutting statement or even… hiding our own beauty in lieu of protection” being abuse is such a left-field notion. And that is largely due to what we accept for the sake of our investments and attachments in life.

  • Michael Brown April 4, 2018   Reply →

    Serge often flips topics on their heads because he lives in a way that is not owned by the topics and the conscioussnesses that run them. A true inspiration.

    • David Nicholson June 1, 2018   Reply →

      Michael totally agree with you, he does flip it on its head and makes sense of life.

  • Natalie Hawthorne April 1, 2018   Reply →

    It makes total sense that we need to address the subtle levels of abuse that we tend to brush under the carpet to in effect reduce if not stop the more extreme abuse that is totally in your face. I sit wonder what are the subtle abuses playing out and when you really stop and look you get to see them and also the ones that we are choosing that are on our own back door step.

  • Rowena Stewart March 25, 2018   Reply →

    Learning to step back in tense situations and look at how we have been treated as children is nothing new, but Serge Benhayon brings in the fundamental aspect that makes sense of the whole situation, our innate and precious tenderness. When we learn to honour this in one another and our selves the more our entire mode operandi changes, as we reconnect to a natural flow and ease of communication that requires no manipulation or coercing within a relationship, just honesty, tenderness and a willingness to work things out together with love.

  • Shami March 24, 2018   Reply →

    I absolutely love this line, that in trying to seek an answer we are trying to address the extremes. This is so profound because it paves the way, or opens the door for more awareness across the board and not just in reaction to what is grossly aberrant.

  • Michael Brown March 24, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence is much like workplace bullying. It will go on as long as we accept it and stand by without speaking up and calling it out for the abuse that it is, in both cases.

  • Steve Matson March 20, 2018   Reply →

    Fixing anything that is harming by simply separating what is abusive fixes nothing. It is like having Japanize fighting fish in serrate tanks. Going to the source of the energy causing the abuse is the only way to permanently end the abuse.

  • Rowena Stewart March 16, 2018   Reply →

    What is remarkable about this interview is that neither party seeks controls or restrictions as a way to resolution to this ill. Instead both bring a focus to our individual responsibility to restore true respect and integrity within our selves and our relationships, which once resurrected cannot foster violence in any quarter.

  • Melinda Knights March 13, 2018   Reply →

    In a world that contains so much ugliness, what is underneath it is the truth that we are all absolutely beautiful at the being level, but not able as yet to live this and support others to do the same. The tension and distress of not living who we all actually are is the foundational reason for the ills of the world. This all makes so much sense to me, as does the 100 steps approach to domestic violence and the subtleties of abuse that occur well before the extremes eventuate. And what a line by Serge “Anything that does not register and adore the beauty that we all are equally is already an abusive posture….”. Listening to Serge is like receiving all the missing pieces of the bigger picture – thank you Serge.

  • Gill Randall March 10, 2018   Reply →

    Learning to start again, to be with the true essence of human beings feels like there is a possibility to return to be a whole new way of being without abuse. There is an urgency to change how we have been living so that we can stop the abuse happening at all the levels of society. We all need to reset the levels of decency and respect back as Serge Benhayon explains to us and it is time to start now.

  • HM March 9, 2018   Reply →

    There is certainly something to be said for the way that words and a ‘constant chipping away’ can degrade a person. It is abuse – the same as physical – and as a woman, I have a responsibility to not add to this – to not feel like the subtle things are OK because they are not as bad as a punch.

  • Michael Brown March 8, 2018   Reply →

    It’s a scary realisation when it arrives, that we all live in goldfish bowls with no separation from humanity. The saying “No man is an island” comes to mind…

  • Ariana Ray March 8, 2018   Reply →

    It always comes down to what we accept for ourselves in our life and what lives out in the world.

  • Joshua Campbell March 7, 2018   Reply →

    It is crazy to consider that abuse is now so normal in society, self love, love and even care have been distorted somewhat to include abuse as part of their definition. Of course these are not true forms of love, self-love or care and hence way we need those that live true love, true self love and true care to show the world a different way

  • Samantha Davidson March 6, 2018   Reply →

    And yet that punch, kick or push is the tip of the iceberg, truly sobering to consider this, we need to get to the root of the disharmony in society and not keep looking for short term solutions and avoidance strategies.

  • Michael Brown March 6, 2018   Reply →

    We consider something a plague if it has horrid, lethal symptoms but what about things that have a large, hidden from the physical eye in most cases, physiological and mental effect.

  • Natalie Hawthorne March 5, 2018   Reply →

    What a team Rebecca and Serge, sharing such valuable information and exposing the root cause of such serious circumstances that are so alive in many peoples lives today as being normal. I have found it super supportive listening to this and how it comes back to the finest detail and correspondence/experience with every single person that matters to the whole.

  • Rik Connors March 3, 2018   Reply →

    This interview is must a see for all. To end abuse is to reignite our beauty. So, how do we do that? – another episode? It’s been said – we must nominate and renunciate any moment we are not honouring our sensitivity – this usually for me is to slow my movements right down to exquisiteness of the tenderness that I know and deserve. Essentially give my space and all the time to feel what is there.

  • Jonathan Stewart March 1, 2018   Reply →

    Accepting something that is better than previously, such as verbal abuse rather physical abuse or one cigarette a day instead of ten, is without a doubt better. However, if we accept it as the answer then we have not resolved the problem and consequently accepting ‘better’ is in fact actually harmful as we are allowing it to perpetuate.

  • Rowena Stewart February 28, 2018   Reply →

    The more we focus on restoring true love and harmony in our homes, the more we are able to address violence per sey throughout our communities. This requires honesty, willingness and the maturity to address our issues in order to cut the culture of blame in its tracks. This can only begin from within our selves and the more we establish our own inner benchmarks of love and respect towards our selves, then the simpler it becomes to create them within the home.

  • Christoph Schnelle February 28, 2018   Reply →

    Actually, domestic violence has always been around. When I was young much of it was called chastisement by the physically stronger of the other members of the household. I wonder if it is worse now or people are more aware and less accepting.

    • Michael Brown March 20, 2018   Reply →

      The past should never be glorified just because we think it was better, as our selective memories can shape it to be something it was not.

  • Sam February 27, 2018   Reply →

    Amazing how in depth and how absolutely insightful this interview is.

  • Michelle McWaters February 27, 2018   Reply →

    So many of us have given up on life, given up on common decency and respect let alone loving expression because it feels that so few of us have the integrity to even bother, but this is simply our reactions to our hurts and we shut down. What if this needn’t be our norm? What if, as suggested here, underneath we are all made of love and that all we need to begin with is simply to be aware of it?

  • Tricia Nicholson February 17, 2018   Reply →

    Another amazing episode exposing the truth of what is going on and the problems in the world society today . True quality respect and decency for women and men can be part of this world and this is a beautiful understanding offered of the way we can bring back the love and tenderness in our lives.

  • Samantha Davidson February 15, 2018   Reply →

    In society we hide who we are, the beauty inside, I often observe life from this point now, what is attempted to be hidden, what tension lies in what is being offered as a reality. A philosopher of deep integrity and wisdom, I Love to listen to these episodes, woo hoo for S.B TV.

  • Natalie Hawthorne February 7, 2018   Reply →

    It took me a while to truly believe that I was super sensitive as I had created such a hard exterior to get by in life that there was no sign of this sensitivity. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and the modalities of Universal Medicine I was able to let go of this hard layers of protection and connect and feel how super sensitive I really am and that it is actually a really beautiful quality to cherish and nurture. Where for most my life I was lead to believe and did think it was stupid, silly and a nuisance to be sensitive.

  • Ariana Ray February 4, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic abuse is so accepted, it’s normal to disregard each other, to dishonour and dismiss each other. To say no to that is love.

  • Gill Randall February 3, 2018   Reply →

    The psychological abuse is so sneaky in relationships. It feels like when it is our normal, we accept and ignore it because we don’t even notice in those tiny details. The self-abuse needs to be examined as Serge Benhayon describes, even gestures are abuse, and how we need to be responsible to go to those depths of abuse to stop it.

  • Melinda Knights January 30, 2018   Reply →

    It’s groundbreaking to consider abuse occurs not just at the human or physical level, but at the being level. That opens up the discussion very broadly. It makes so much sense to me that abuse is founded on that tension to not live the beauty we are as beings.

    • Ariana Ray February 2, 2018   Reply →

      You make a great point Melinda ‘abuse is founded on that tension to not live the beauty we are as beings.’ The cost to humanity of not living the beauty we are as beings is huge, here in the UK two women dies every week from domestic abuse and countless others are smashed and injured, the children who watch this abuse are also affected by it for the rest of their lives. The real cost is beyond reckoning in terms of the toll on human lives.

  • Gill Randall January 26, 2018   Reply →

    We think of abuse as extreme physical violence or sexual abuse but this episode of Serge Benhayon shows us that not being adored is the start of the abuse that we accept as normal. When we accept this level of abuse in our daily lives, we are each harming ourselves without even realising it. This subtle level of abuse in our lives needs working on to start our healing.

  • Jonathan Stewart January 25, 2018   Reply →

    This is an utter tour de force of the cause of domestic violence and as the pre-amble to this episode states, “Just as domestic violence has no place in our community, this is a must watch episode to support bringing the depth of love back to relationships. Which really, we all want and deserve.”

  • Sarah Karam January 24, 2018   Reply →

    Everyone thinks that abuse is simply physical but when you delve deeper into what abuse really is, what we find is that men, who are typically physically stronger than women are in fact very sensitive to any forms of rejection. This means, that as women, we are not victims but we actually have the power to support men feel truly loved again by embracing them in ways that society and perhaps their parents have not been able to in the past. When I say men, I mean the men and boys in your life, the sons, students, nephews, uncles, Dads, friends, it starts at home and when we all start to value one another, this type of care and love is infections.

    • Christoph Schnelle February 28, 2018   Reply →

      That is a good point. There are many forms of abuse and some of the worst leave no physical traces.

  • Ray Karam January 24, 2018   Reply →

    I had to come back to this episode and I don’t think I will be leaving it for a few days between you and me. There is just so much in this and the more I listen the more I am aware. When I think about the things that this episode supports with I am almost spun in a complete circle. It’s inspired me to write more about this all myself as my background has had a lot of dealings with people in domestic violence situations and here we have an interview walking us back to the very root of this “modern plague.

  • Ray Karam January 23, 2018   Reply →

    I have never looked this deep into “domestic violence” and like most I would guess we are caught in the extreme pictures of what it is and try not to repeat them. Yet here we have a look at the start or where this truly occurs and we tend to look beyond what one does to another to look at how we are with ourselves and how we move in relation to then how we act and how we treat another. This is certainly a way to “tackle” this crime that I have never before seen approached and if as a society we are truly serious about what we are doing here then this episode should be in every home for us to view.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 26, 2018   Reply →

      I love the true care and understanding that Serge Benhayon brings into the picture. Love, harmony and joy is our true essence, so to be able to get to a point of even contemplating abuse, there must be deep hurt and abandoning our true expression. So a great question to ask: well ahead of the outplays that we call abuse, where did we veer away from deeply honouring one another and the love that we held each other in?

  • Tricia Nicholson January 22, 2018   Reply →

    An absolutely revolutionary discussion with a level of understanding and support for mankind that is amazing to hear and gives us the keys to look back 100 steps to the root of all abuse and who we are in our essence. Inspirational and essential to be heard ,Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon make an amazing interview team and could be listened to all day and inspired to make a difference. Such a beautiful understanding of us all and the abuse we live to take responsibility for.

  • Natalie Hawthorne January 22, 2018   Reply →

    The constant chipping away of words that you talk about Serge can be super subtle and the are deeply destructive. To be able to get to place where we can actually not be in that defence and be honouring of how we feel and expressing this is what Serge Benhayon’s teachings and modalities offer us. They have been life changing for me and hundreds of people.

  • HM January 21, 2018   Reply →

    If we were to get back to the true power of a man in his tenderness and a woman in her divinity – then abuse would not even be a option. But we are so far from this and so abuse plays out as something needs to fill
    In the gaps. This interview exposes what we need to start to address and take 100 steps back.

  • Ariana Ray January 21, 2018   Reply →

    ‘Even with raised awareness and improved education, society continues to see shocking rates of domestic violence.’ While Serge Benhayon offers the shocking truth of domestic violence, he also offers the truth of what we could have with relationships and talks about the natural sensitivity of men and women. This is truly great TV.

    • Ray Karam January 24, 2018   Reply →

      I agree “truly great TV” and raises the bar of what I have been watching for sure. We look at the “shocking rates of domestic violence” daily as there is so so much around that showing us the end result and from there we are trying to make it better or find answers and here we have a road map back for us to see where it all begins, where it all starts or you can say the root cause. Amazing we have seen years and years of violence and money spent and in a 40 minute video I have found out more about this “modern plague” then ever before.

  • Rik Connors January 18, 2018   Reply →

    I felt warm inside and giggled every time Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon shared a moment and smiled — inspiration at work, I want some of that! The depth of connection is priceless.

  • Karin Barea January 18, 2018   Reply →

    I love it when Serge Benhayon jokes about being arrested for a person holding back their beauty, as this is abuse, but then says joking aside this is abuse. When I consider my day and what makes me sad when I walk around town, is seeing people shut down and putting a lot of effort into turning their inner glow down or going all out to snuff it out. There are people drinking and taking drugs and people caught up in their worries and surviving. I see so much disregard and it feels so heavy and I do react a lot because it pains me to see beautiful people not appreciating or living their inner beauty and enjoying it. Why do I react a lot? Because I know I often disregard myself and do not appreciate my own beauty, which can create a downward spiral of self-flagellation and greater attempts to numb out the knowing of how awful this is for myself and everyone around me. But with loving understanding, I can choose to adore myself and live a different way which doesn’t hold back my beauty but lets it shine.

  • Nattalija January 15, 2018   Reply →

    What I love here is that there is no blame game of who is right or wrong but how many backward steps we have all taken that had led to this level of disregard. Serge Benhayon points out the truth for all so that we have the opportunity to learn and heal.

  • Michael Brown January 13, 2018   Reply →

    We don’t consider things like this a plague because its a behaviour rather than an ‘illness’ but what if those behaviours are the dis-ease that leads to the physical symptomatic disease we see later on?

  • Gill Randall January 8, 2018   Reply →

    Domestic violence in society has been accepted as normal, it happens and we have to accept it. NO, Serge Benhayon talks in this episode that it is not our natural expression. He explains that we are living in protection, hiding with our hurts and living with abuse, but we can address it and change it when we can feel the defensiveness of how we are living. These episodes are so healing for anyone watching them.

  • Natalie Hawthorne January 8, 2018   Reply →

    There are so many layers to abuse, as Serge Benhayon shares, and those subtle ones slowly chip away at us. It makes sense what is being presented that we have to come clean and express our hurts, both men and woman and from there we have a place of honesty to work with.

  • Michael Brown January 7, 2018   Reply →

    When wondering why we have wars and genocide, one just has to look at our conduct and behaviour in our own homes with so-called loved ones.

  • HM January 7, 2018   Reply →

    ‘If I don’t adore my wife on a daily basis is that abuse?’ – Serge Benhayon drops another massive point of reflection for us to be honest about what we have settled for and where we have compromised to not be who we are. This interview challenges how we are living as a society and asks us to not focus on the extreme cases, but all the movements that may contribute to an abusive relationship that has no place within humanity.

  • Sarah Karam January 4, 2018   Reply →

    Looking at the violence issues we face today and knowing where to begin can feel overwhelming, but it is refreshing to consider that the answer may be raising the bar – across the whole of society. This approach actually makes sense. When you think about the big picture, we cannot force or coerce a criminal from being a criminal, you cannot talk a violent offender from re-offending, it does not work – and locking them in a cell, we have tried that already. It is about inspiring change so that this change filters down to the way we raise children to know themselves so deeply and wholly that they would not ever be able to perpetuate these crimes on a fellow human being in the first place.

  • Karin Barea January 1, 2018   Reply →

    Understanding that my self-bashing or anything I do that means I’m not my lovely being, is experienced as rejection by another brings a loving responsibility to how I live. This is huge and a depth of sensitivity I can feel in men but had not wanted to fully acknowledge because it means I cannot pretend that how I am is a private affair.

  • HM December 31, 2017   Reply →

    Wow – Serge Benhayon presents that abuse is genderless, and that anything that does not honour and appreciate the beauty that is there already is an abusive posture. This is such a powerful foundation to have – as it highlights just how far we are as a humanity from truly appreciating and honouring who we are.

  • Rachel Murtagh December 30, 2017   Reply →

    To understand that domestic violence is the end result of subtler forms of abuse, such as that bad look or an unkind word that we have accepted as being ok, is a revelation. It shows how each of us need to take greater responsibility in how we talk to another and not accept anything less than caring, loving communication.

  • Natalie Hawthorne December 29, 2017   Reply →

    Such an incredible insight into such a desperately needed conversation, to expose that which is destroying lives and be open to the support that is on offer to heal such hurts.

  • Jane Keep December 28, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence, relationships, men and women, and so much more in this bumper packed Serge Benhayon TV episode. Well worth taking a moment to watch. These are the sort of TV episodes I watch over and over again, as there is always something more I learn each time.

    • Ray Karam January 23, 2018   Reply →

      We have such a high version of what “domestic violence” actually is. Our perception of this style of violence or abuse almost covers what it truly is, in other words we look at it down the track and in that trying fix it from the end in place of walking truly back to the start. We can’t fix the extremes from only looking at the extremes we are needing to walk back further into the”subtleties”.

  • Jennifer Smith December 27, 2017   Reply →

    This is a conversation that offers us healing. Healing to ourselves and how we are choosing to live and treat ourselves in every moment of everyday. Healing for those we are in relationship with and how we are with others. It takes the conversation on domestic violence to a very deep level and says there is much more going on before what we see as the end result of domestic violence. It asks whats happening for us as a society if we are seeing more extreme levels of behaviours and then as a result lower further our standards of decency and respect in all of our relationships? In other words how far away have we stepped away from our true natures?

  • Michael Brown December 26, 2017   Reply →

    The fact that domestic violence occurs in the most wealthy good-to-do households just shows that what we have termed success is not really It.

  • David December 26, 2017   Reply →

    When I reflect on the modern plague of domestic violence it makes me wonder how and why we have allowed this to be so normal, what is great is getting underneath that and seeing that nearly every relationship in the world allows a level of abuse and that unless we make relationships about love, which first means knowing and feeling what true love actually is, then domestic violence is just a more extreme version of what many people put up within their relationships. And that all starts with how we are with ourselves, something that I would say in my case was very abusive from when I was young onwards.

  • Matilda Bathurst December 25, 2017   Reply →

    I love the simplicity of the responsibility offered here. If we take care of, nurture and cherish our relationships with ourselves and those around us, we are incrementally turning the tide on the violence and conflict that has become our ‘norm’.

  • Fiona Pierce December 24, 2017   Reply →

    I think it’s a great point to present that the more we dismiss what we consider to be lesser forms of abuse, and accept them as just normal or insignificant the more we make way for the more extreme forms to get even more extreme and in a way fuel them to exist. And with this understanding we can then appreciate the effect that we all have on everyone else and to truly consider what our contribution to the whole is in the way that we live our daily life…

  • Ariana Ray December 21, 2017   Reply →

    We are in the midst of the season for the highest levels of domestic violence in the year. The Christmas/ New year period takes DV to a new heights, with more alcohol consumed, more violence, more serious injuries and more domestic murders. I don’t think this is what they mean by Christmas cheer, but it is what we have got.

  • Susan Green December 21, 2017   Reply →

    ‘Addressing the extremes doesn’t work’.. the extremes are only there because we have ignored the subtle forms of abuse towards ourselves first. We have suppressed our beauty and natural qualities and so as a result, we see the extremes of society. Such an important interview to understand why we have accepted the many ways we abuse ourselves and others.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 22, 2017   Reply →

      This recognition of the absolute beauty which is actually everyone’s true essence and expression is a vital place too. Anything less than this is doomed to fail since we are already starting with a lack of honouring which is felt as a hurt at our inner core and results in the many forms of reaction some of which we consider abhorrent.

  • Susan Green December 18, 2017   Reply →

    Fascinating interview between Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith, offering a deeper understanding of one another and the real essence of who we are.

  • Ariana Ray December 18, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence seems to be so accepted in the world – the reportings are a tip of the iceberg of what is truly going on, simply because of the acceptance that abuse is normal in the world.

  • Monica Gillooly December 10, 2017   Reply →

    Another gem, to understand that abuse is far more than what we see at the extremes and in fact that we will never address abuse truly by just looking at those extremes; that we have to again take those hundred steps back and unpick the abuses we allow as normal, starting with ourselves. It shocked me slightly to hear that as a woman not celebrating our sexiness and beauty is a rejection for our partners and to me it highlights that we each have a responsibility to address our hurts so we both as men and women can be all we are.

  • HM December 8, 2017   Reply →

    We have truly figured out how to not be ourselves and to play gender games that make us less. But Serge Benhayon loves humanity so much that he continues to present the truth of who we are as a reflection back to us. A beholding love.

  • KB December 7, 2017   Reply →

    This is revelatory and makes total sense. In lots of training and work with agencies, ‘ve never heard of looking at domestic abuse from beyond the physical level – the verbal and/or physical abuse, the coercive and controlling behaviours; the strategies and interventions that are put in place start from the extremes because that’s where the problems are so obvious and often life threatening. But what if we start at the being level where we truly cherish our beauty? Having just been on child to parent/carer domestic violence training today they spoke of poor attachment being a huge contributory factor – the care takers weren’t able to honour the baby’s sensitivities and the baby formed distrust of the world and negative beliefs of themselves. Agencies are focusing on supporting caretakers to respect themselves and rebuild relationships. I’m hearing a call for a much deeper level of caring and nurture to bring myself and to others.

  • Michael Brown December 7, 2017   Reply →

    What would you consider worse for humanity – A war between two countries, OR, every household in those 2 countries hosting domestic violence in any shape or form?

    I know that before I opened my eyes to see the effects of subtleties I would have said the former every time. Now I see the big picture and that in truth without that domestic violence there could be no war.

  • Kerstin Salzer December 6, 2017   Reply →

    To listen to this interview very much confirms that we are able to live the love we are and to expose everything which is abusive, if we choose to go this path which returns to our inner love.

  • Matilda Bathurst December 5, 2017   Reply →

    Another incredible interview with Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon, opening up the conversation about the root causes of domestic violence and the responsibility we all have to be honest about, and commit to change, any abuse in our relationships with ourselves, because this ripples out to feed the extreme acts that we are then aghast and ‘surprised’ about.

  • Michael Brown December 2, 2017   Reply →

    Before we attempt to solve political crisis and international wars we need to address what goes on in our own homes.

  • Fiona Pierce November 30, 2017   Reply →

    Wow, I love the depth that this interview goes to and how there is no men versus women but instead bringing back the truth of the essence in us all and looking back at where and how we live in opposition to this, however subtle it may seem…

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 30, 2017   Reply →

    Once I became honest about the lack of intimacy in my life and that I was settling for much less that what I deserved I could see that this is what I thought was ‘normal’. But it was the fact that I was seeking it from outside of me. With Universal Medicine as presented by Serge Benhayon I got to feel and see that there is a Love super strong and powerful within me and it was this that I was actually craving as I had disconnected from it.

  • Gill Randall November 28, 2017   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon talks about extreme levels of sensitivity and exquisiteness we can all feel, and anything less than this is abuse. We can learn to change our movements to honour this, and reflect this to others, because we need to be stopping this abuse to ourselves. It is time to change this loveless way of living.

  • Ariana Ray November 27, 2017   Reply →

    As usual, Serge Benhayon flips the topic on its head, and does so with such wisdom it benefits all.

  • HM November 27, 2017   Reply →

    Abuse is when we hold back our beauty. That is a big one to take in and really see the truth in it. We as a society are so used to this, and so we walk around as less, and as a result put up with less.

  • Rebecca November 26, 2017   Reply →

    Even with our ever increasing levels of education and temporal intelligence, we have not been able to truly shake the barbaric behaviours we like to consider are a part of our past – domestic violence, slavery, war – it is all with us in our present because we have not dealt with why it is still a part of human life.

  • Rebecca November 22, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence is just one of many symptoms that the increasing level of ‘intelligence’ around the world in the form of degrees, PhD’s, Masters and education in general is not providing us with a way of truly understanding why people abuse their closest loved ones, and how we can live together in harmony . And yet here, in this video, 100 steps back, we can begin to see something else at play – which provides us with a clear understanding.

    • Matilda Bathurst December 5, 2017   Reply →

      An interview that inspires us to explore domestic violence and the root causes… being curious and committed enough to go beyond superficial temporary fix-its to the heart of the matter and the abuse we deliver to ourselves on a daily basis that forms the foundation for the extreme versions to sit.

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 19, 2017   Reply →

    To admit that we are all part of the abuse and that until such time that this changes this plague will only get worse – I know I have struggled with this, and to even start seeing the tiniest things with myself where I abuse myself was huge, and how if I am allowing that with myself then I allow that elsewhere. Turning the table on this and saying no to abuse on every level is the only way forward and discussion like this is exactly what is needed, to bring an honest, open, non-judgemental truth to it. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith.

  • Rowena Stewart November 19, 2017   Reply →

    Becoming aware of and addressing the subtlies of abuse brings us back to appreciating and honouring our immense sensitivity and when we do, there is no room in life for the smallest of abuses to exist. If we do this on a domestic level, we will eat away at the foundations of war and no longer provide the fuel it needs to thrive.

  • Richard Mills November 15, 2017   Reply →

    How very humbling to consider that we are all part of the abuse when we are not living in adoration of one another. But how glorious it is to feel humbled and the openness of heart this offers us.

  • Harrison White November 14, 2017   Reply →

    If violence or abuse is a part of a relationship in anyway, than that means that whatever the relationship is based on is many ‘steps’ away from that 100th step as Serge Benhayon so brilliantly puts it.

  • Shami November 14, 2017   Reply →

    In this interview, Serge Benhayon talks about men and women coming to terms and being open with our hurts, in order to heal, so that we may all begin to move towards a more harmonious way of living with eachother, that does not include violence or abuse even at the most subtle levels. The fact that our hurts can be the driving factor which is causing so much disharmony amongst us, is very sobering, because this means that by not being willing to heal these underlying factors we are actually continuing or continuously contributing to a way of life on earth which, at present, is not such a pretty picture when it is looked at closely and with greatest honesty.

  • Rebecca November 11, 2017   Reply →

    Amazing – decency and respect are not the basic levels of communication and relationship we are taught from young, and yet they should be the minimum of how we interact with each other.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh November 10, 2017   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon is one of a handful of people I have come across who, even when speaking about horrendous issues that would normally make me want to crawl into my shell and give up on humanity, expands the topic, broadens your understanding and brings such a depth of love and responsibility to the core that instead I always always come away feeling more empowered, inspired and committed to live all the love that I am.

    • Jonathan Stewart March 1, 2018   Reply →

      So true, Golnaz, and by speaking about ‘the horrendous issues’ in the way he does Serge demonstrates that to bring about real change is by first being completely honest and transparent and then we can truly know what needs to be addressed, otherwise it is only playing with smoking mirrors.

  • Karin Barea November 5, 2017   Reply →

    Introducing the fact that domestic violence is the end spectrum of many steps taken walking away from our natural sensitivity as men and women and shows we cannot be complacent and think the abuse, no matter how subtle, is ok and acceptable because it’s mild in comparison to full blown, obvious violence and often death. Watching this and understanding how domestic violence and abuse isn’t something that happens to other people. What is presented is how we all have a part in this – whether we know it or not; so, I greatly appreciate being aware of how this part is played out through how I am with myself, therefore with others.

    • Rebecca November 12, 2017   Reply →

      I agree Karin, when we take 100 steps back, we are faced with a far broarder spectrum of behaviour we need to focus on and address to be able to heal the end result of domestic violence

  • Michael Brown November 4, 2017   Reply →

    There are more plagues in society than we care to see and domestic violence is definitely one of them.

  • Jennifer Smith November 2, 2017   Reply →

    There is such a difference coming to life in a way where we feel we need to be defensive almost in our approach, such as the example of sex education. “How not to get pregnant, how to say no” are defensive. Coming from decency and respect we learn and understand that we can be open with one another and there is no need for defence. In defence we shut ourselves down to each other. Decency and respect are an important foundation for us all.

  • Ariana Ray October 29, 2017   Reply →

    DV is the modern plague, but it’s a plague that is all too often left to go unreported nonetheless. Standing up to expose it is to vital and this is what Serge Benhayon does in this episode. It’s truly great TV.

  • Michael Brown October 25, 2017   Reply →

    How do we go about attempting to fix countries and world issues when we can’t get our own houses in order? A bit like trying to blow out a candle whilst the house is burning down.

    • Matilda Bathurst December 5, 2017   Reply →

      Great analogy, Michael, exposing how futile and ineffective our superficial approach to domestic violence and its root causes is.

  • Richard Mills October 23, 2017   Reply →

    Setting the bar high means that we will commit to being so much more aware of the – what we might perceive as – more subtle signs of abuse…like the way we speak to another or even the way we treat ourselves. What a change we would have in society if we called out abuse at this level, rather than waiting until it is in its gross forms like physical violence, molestation, rape and bullying.

  • Ariana Ray October 22, 2017   Reply →

    ‘When we focus on ‘fixing’ domestic violence we fail to see the allowed abuse that has crept into our relationships along the way.’ This is so spot on – this exposes domestic violence like no other.

  • jennym October 20, 2017   Reply →

    It is great to be reminded many times of our need to address the root cause of issues such as domestic violence as well as the end result that we see in society. Domestic violence happens in our homes, in our families. How are we not living the decency and respect as our foundational blocks?

  • Jennifer Smith October 18, 2017   Reply →

    We could say that we have reduced the meaning of relationship when we consider the abuse we are allowing into them.

  • rosanna bianchini October 18, 2017   Reply →

    “Decency and respect that have the foundations of love and nothing less” – a level we can’t step below because of the very support in their foundational blocks, with these we establish the quality we live, learn and grow up in.

  • Sarah Karam October 17, 2017   Reply →

    If we as a society simply address the tone of our voice, we will be miles in front of where we are today. Abuse can start at this simple point, the way we move, the way we speak and the way we stand. If we allow ourselves to take one hundred steps back, we discover things that we may never have thought we would find. It is quite amazing when we observe our conditions in this way. This is a life changing episode, thank you to everyone that is apart of the production team, great job getting quality viewing out there.

  • John O Connell October 17, 2017   Reply →

    ” a woman that does not honour her sexiness is a rejection to her partner , because he sees that the rejection of her own sexiness , is a concealment of her beauty towards him “. It’s so wonderful to listen to this interview and learn the truths as to what men get upset about in relationships.

  • Jennifer Smith October 13, 2017   Reply →

    An amazing conversation of what is abuse and how subtle it really is. The extremes have begun somewhere and we find their sources in the subtle levels of abuse that we choose to ignore and put up with. Whats interesting is that we have not considered that how we treat ourselves is either abuse to others, or it’s loving and supportive. It highlights how important self-care is as a starting point in turning around these behaviours.

    • David March 13, 2018   Reply →

      Jennifer indeed that’s the key, its the subtle levels of abuse that we tend to ignore yet they are a pandemic across the world.

  • Rowena Stewart October 11, 2017   Reply →

    Real TV is about empowering us to change what is not right in the world and Serge Benhayon TV definitely does that. The more we wake up to the subtle ways we abuse one another, the greater our ability to prevent extreme behaviours. This change begins within our selves and the quality of our self-talk. When we take this in hand, the quality of our relationships naturally follows suit.

  • Ariana Ray October 11, 2017   Reply →

    ‘Taking the 100 steps back approach towards decency and respect’ is certainly overdue. We have allowed abuse to be considered normal for way too long.

  • HM October 10, 2017   Reply →

    This week I spoke to a woman about the abuse she had suffered for a number of years. And by offering support, she disclosed that no one had ever cared that much to support her or talk to her before. It made me stop and see where the world is at – that we don’t talk about what is quickly becoming a normal behaviour. We are desensitising ourselves to what is happening and compromising on love.

  • Ariana Ray October 7, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence is a modern plague we have allowed for far too long. This is very powerful TV which exposes the truth.

    • Matilda Bathurst December 5, 2017   Reply →

      Yes. And I love this quote from the interview, ‘The horrors of society are only a disguise for the beauty we are’, which sums up the madness of our existence in resistance to our natural qualities that would not even consider raising an abusive finger, word or gesture… ever.

  • Shami October 7, 2017   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon says here in this interview, that for women promiscuity is not the answer to a lack of intimacy in life. These words are profound and very revealing because they ask every woman to look at and address if there is a lack of true intimacy in our lives, these words in fact ask women to be honest, and if willing to go there it asks us to be truthful about why there is promiscuity in the first place – to ask the question and take things from there.

  • Michael Brown October 5, 2017   Reply →

    We can focus on wars and battles if we like, but as long as there is war within our homes we have not a chance to remedy the separation on a wider scale.

  • HM October 5, 2017   Reply →

    There is an amazing quality presented here – 2 people who represent humanity sharing the truth of abuse from a big picture perspective. What a joy to watch this and the powerful statements that are made here. It is one of the only conversations I have heard about abuse with no sympathy or emotional reactions.

  • Stephanie Stevenson October 4, 2017   Reply →

    Wow. This episode exposes in full the ridiculous and insidious games that both men and women play to live less than their true potential and be love.

  • Ariana Ray October 2, 2017   Reply →

    All too often, people think DV is just about people being beaten, but it’s far more than that, and the level of abuse we accept in any areas of our life is what we confirm to the world is okay. No abuse is ok.

  • Christoph Schnelle September 28, 2017   Reply →

    When we look deep inside we notice that we are love – not just have love but are love, yet many of us choose to express violence.

  • Jennifer Smith September 28, 2017   Reply →

    This discussion is quite profound. I had never considered that me not treating myself with love care and tenderness, meaning that more I do that the more I am able to live that in every way has such a profound effect on others. The conversation about what rejection actually is huge and is much more than we think it could possible ever be. There is no end the ripple effect of connecting more deeply to our inner beauty and committing to live that to the best of our ability.

  • Rachel Murtagh September 24, 2017   Reply →

    It’s phenomenal to feel and connect to the root causes of abuse, why it occurs and how we let it in, even to the subtlest of levels.

  • Stephen Gammack September 24, 2017   Reply →

    “The horrors of society are a mere concealment of the wonders we are”. What a revelation, there is almost a collective sigh of relief that could be released in hearing this, that we need not be suckered into a hopelessness. To not be overwhelmed by depravity but an understanding that it is a way of blocking our beauty. We know that inside us all is a gorgeousness and that most of us have this very close to the surface, a deep care for others, an innate compassion and love of others. We just need more reflections that show us as we truly are and give others permission to live this same quality in every tiny speck of behaviour.

  • Gill Randall September 23, 2017   Reply →

    Abuse happens on all levels because we have such a low level of decency and respect for each other, this is not how we are designed to be living. Serge Benhayon brings the truth that we need to drop the protection and break down the walls before we can turn this abuse around, from subtle psychological abuse, even the gestures we can dismiss to the stronger levels we presently accept. Life does not have to be this way we are in living so unlovingly.

  • Shami September 23, 2017   Reply →

    It is great to hear and to be given the opportunity to understand that as we move back towards a way of living with eachother that does not include abuse of any kind, there are many and some times very, difficult steps to take which may require a lot of understanding and a lot of insight but however this is not ever to discourage the journey or the work for the journey but in fact to spur it on even more, to gather a greater commitment to bringing us all back to the harmony that we all know is possible and crave so deeply.

  • HM September 23, 2017   Reply →

    It is so powerful that we can call things out that don’t feel loving as soon as they happen so they therefore can’t build to be anything more. We have such an opportunity to do this, to talk about how we feel before we even have to get to the stage of raising our voices.

  • Ariana Ray September 22, 2017   Reply →

    ‘This is a must watch episode to support bringing the depth of love back to relationships.’ A a must watch episode it certainly is. We have become so inured to abuse in life, to call a halt to it is timely and much needed. Thank you Serge Benhayon.

  • Karin Barea September 22, 2017   Reply →

    This is a phenomenal watch. Abuse is rampant and it’s not confined to between couples but within the workplace and simply walking down the street. It’s brought home to me my responsibility. How I walk in life, how I meet people, being open with people – so not letting in abuse but not shutting people out in protection. This programme completely opens my eyes to how, when I am not honouring my inner beauty and expressing it, I am rejecting all those around me. How powerful we are; so when we do let our beauty shine others can feel this in themselves and can feel how possible this is for them too.

  • Gill Randall September 21, 2017   Reply →

    I can relate to the woman who does not love herself, that is how I used to feel, and my husband used to ask me why did I not adore and love my body. I hadn’t understood that he was feeling that as rejection until now. Interestingly, he doesn’t ask it anymore as I feel more sexy than ever before, despite ageing, I love myself much more than 10 years ago.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh October 14, 2017   Reply →

      It is always wise when facing any issue to consider the responsibility we ourselves have in the situation.
      And these conversations with Serge Benhayon take the understanding and relationship with personal responsibility to a whole new level.

  • Gill Randall September 21, 2017   Reply →

    Each of these episodes from Sergebenhayon.tv bring a specific true message and understanding that how we are living is not how we are designed to be living. We are all from love and there should be no abuse in our lives. Serge Benhayon unravels and explains how we have got to this point energetically, especially how devastated men are with rejection as a result of not being nurtured.

  • Natalie Hawthorne September 20, 2017   Reply →

    Wow 1 in 3 women will be abused before the age of 16 and that is only the statistics for the ones that have been accounted for. This is insane and we all have a role to play in this. When I stop and reflect if I have anything to do with that, one could say no but really I am fully a part of this as I have chosen to not really look or be aware of such shocking statistics. Time to reflect on my own life and if there is any abuse on any level then this needs to be addressed and stopped lovingly so.

  • John O Connell September 19, 2017   Reply →

    ” I have been imparting the virtues of decency and respect that have the foundations of love and nothing else to them ” Its so wonderful to hear a man talk about his way of living in such a humble way and that benefits everyone.

  • Stephen Gammack September 18, 2017   Reply →

    Addressing the extreme doesn’t work, for long time I have felt this. It is called zero tolerance in respect to domestic violence but we could say the same of any aspect of life. How much are we going to say is ok, imagine we said, the very way you talk is abusive, or the dropping of litter is too, the microcosm, when we address the little things the big things stand out and then we know we are at the very least on the right track. We are so much more than our petty behaviours, our violent tendencies, our argumentative actions. When we accept we are much much more than this then it is a foundation to change.

  • Natalie Hawthorne September 17, 2017   Reply →

    Ahhh the penny dropped listening to this, how the lack of intimacy in ones life is the fostering of all that is not of a true relationship. I have been aware of working on my intimacy with myself but haven’t fully clocked that when I am resisting such a relationship this brings in everything that is not. The jealousy, the comparison and the need for a true relationship. Bring it back to surrendering to my own intimacy with myself, being honest, expressing this and not feeling ashamed or that I have done something wrong… all of this opens the doors to true intimacy and relationships based on such things.

  • Samantha September 16, 2017   Reply →

    Oh wow this episode offers so much, it totally exposes the victim and bully mentality, we are all super sensitive and getting to the root of why we hide this is a major first step in healing.

  • Ingrid Ward September 16, 2017   Reply →

    When Serge Benhayon first presented that the natural expression for men is tenderness I had one of those ‘of course it is’ moments where so much finally made sense. I could feel that I had spent so much time looking for this tenderness in a man, knowing it was there, only to be faced with the image that society had programmed him to be. To now be able to observe that behind that tough guy façade there is a beautiful, sweet, tender and delicate being who is just wanting be liberated from the destructive beliefs of society, feels so very joyous and full of so many possibilities.

  • Natalie Hawthorne September 16, 2017   Reply →

    When we look at where we are as a society what Serge Benhayon is saying about making it our ‘system’ to make it about decency and respect I agree whole heartily. What we have accepted as normal and ok is so far below any level of decency and respect that until we start to say no this not our normal and in fact we are very far away from it nothing will truly change.

  • Ariana Ray September 15, 2017   Reply →

    Living with the beauty of the body shows up in stark relief, the ‘insanity’ of harming our own or another’s body, yet we have made this a normal today.

  • HM September 15, 2017   Reply →

    We are all deeply sensitive – and any abuse is the rejection of this sensitivity. What the state of play shows is that we know this sensitivity inside out and have gone to extremes to not feel this.

  • Kerstin Salzer September 14, 2017   Reply →

    The fact that every woman and man is extremely sensitive and often need healing and care to heal their hurts feels true in my heart. It is the key to not react, and to stop abusive behaviour. In many workshops with Serge Benhayon I received healing. I still sometimes react, but also I learn to be connected deeper to myself and my stillness, which allows me more often to observe situations rather than just react.

  • Gill Randall September 13, 2017   Reply →

    This TV is well worth watching and listening to Serge Benhayon. Every episode has so many gems of truth to get us to realise how unloving we have been living as humanity. . The message needs to go viral to get out to people that we can choose a different way to live.

  • Rowena Stewart September 13, 2017   Reply →

    Thanks to this episode I am realising more and more each day the subtly of abuse that plays out between people and realising my power in addressing it. In this process I am becoming aware of all I take for granted. I now know that appreciating one another and our selves each and every day is fundamental to all our relationships, it provides us with a living platform of true respect that everyone deserves.

  • Jennifer Smith September 12, 2017   Reply →

    I like the fact that Serge Benhayon talked about ‘boys will be boys’. It’s a saying that represents a big excuse and justification for poor and often degrading behaviour. The truth is that boys/men aren’t like what the meaning of that phrase portrays and Serge presents that men and women are much more that the behaviours that they choose.

  • Ariana Ray September 12, 2017   Reply →

    The sad thing is that too many people are not able to even recognise the abuse they live with everyday because it has become so normal. Serge Benhayon is showing us how to live in a way that has no abuse – that is revolutionary in this day and age.

  • Kathleen Baldwin September 12, 2017   Reply →

    This . . . .”The horrors of society are only a disguise for the beauty of who we truly are” . . . as stated by Serge Benhayon in this interview has given me much to ponder on as did the understanding that anything less than adoring our partners is abuse. Thank you Rebecca Asquith and Serge for such an insightful discussion on the age old problem of domestic violence.

  • Gill Randall September 11, 2017   Reply →

    When I hear Serge Benhayon talk about a woman who does not speak with a nurturing voice, or a man who does not speak with a tender voice as abusive, it feels really sad. It exposes the level we are away from the love we can be.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 23, 2017   Reply →

      Yes the level of love, care and honouring Serge Benhayon reminds us is our natural expression, truly exposes how we have settled for relationships in life which falls very short of our true nature.

  • Rowena Stewart September 11, 2017   Reply →

    Watching this episode again I have been able to feel how incredibly painful it is when we choose to stop sharing our selves openly and honestly with one another. It is almost no different to punching someone. The subtly of our ability to abuse each other in this way runs deep, bringing our awareness to them is very empowering.

  • Kerstin Salzer September 11, 2017   Reply →

    Through listening to this video I got aware how much protection and numbness I have built in my body in order to cope with the daily abuse. This protection numbs me to the point that I can live with a certain amount of abuse without having to change my way of being with myself. This revelation rocks me as it shows how much I live in defense and how I do not always let my love come through.

  • Michael Brown September 10, 2017   Reply →

    I love the open nature of these interviews. There is no agenda or point to prove, just 2 people talking openly and honestly about the state of humanity and sharing the wisdom they are.

    • Matilda Bathurst December 25, 2017   Reply →

      Simple inspiration for us to do the same… in conversation with ourselves and each other in our daily lives; being willing to explore important questions about life and our purpose.

  • jennym September 10, 2017   Reply →

    There are many layers to responsibility in relationships especially when we consider that if we don’t relate with basic respect and decency it is abusive.

  • Ingrid Ward September 10, 2017   Reply →

    I wonder how many of us consider the possibility that allowing our inner critic a voice we are sanctioning a form of self-abuse; I certainly never did. Perhaps the lack of awareness of what self-abuse actually is commences with the presentation at an early age of the belief that looking after ourselves first is being selfish and from there our lack of respect for ourselves begins to grow.

    • Jennifer Smith September 12, 2017   Reply →

      I never did either Ingrid and I would consider that in some circles it would almost be considered as healthy, giving yourself a hard time. For the vast majority we would never speak to another person as we speak to ourselves. So we really need to consider what the effect of this is on our body. This then makes it a clear marker on how we treat others.

  • Kerstin Salzer September 10, 2017   Reply →

    If we as human beings would be more aware in what kind of subtle movement we abuse each other and ourselves through our voice, how we look at each other, how we dress or move our body we would not have the problems we have now in our society, because we would need to be much more with ourselves in order to move in a harmonious way.

    • David March 12, 2018   Reply →

      Kerstin a great point, its through the changes to these subtle movements do we end up ensuring we don’t allow the big types of abuse. The results will no doubt speak for themselves, but the question is also how many in our society want to truly live harmoniously?

  • Christoph Schnelle September 10, 2017   Reply →

    I find that what could be described as normal arguments between couples are still often very painful for both parties and it sometimes isn’t easy not to fall into despair during an argument. Add alcohol or other drugs and the mixture is very combustible.

  • fiona lotherington September 10, 2017   Reply →

    This is an interview that I will have to watch several times, as there so many pearls of wisdom. Normally when you see an article or interview about domestic violence, it is all about statistics and blame or discussion about how to get men to stop being abusive. This interview goes light years beyond this and brings the responsibility back to us all. It also confirms that we are far from brutish by nature and reminds us of whom we are actually are.

  • Lucy Dahill September 9, 2017   Reply →

    This interview is so good. It really goes back to the beginning and asks us to address the level of decency and respect we have for each other as a way of addressing the growing rise of domestic abuse.

  • Mary September 9, 2017   Reply →

    I totally agree with what Serge Benhayon says when he refers to the way we speak can carry abuse, which can be just as devastating as being physically abused. You may not see any bruising or cuts but the impact on the body is just as severe, and the effects can stay in the body for a lifetime.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 9, 2017   Reply →

    There is a huge difference between lack of war, aggression or abuse and in contrast deeply loving, honouring and caring for one another. Looking at addressing the extreme behaviour such as domestic violence is a welcome first step, yet it is a long way from honouring our innate essence and supporting us to return to our true expression. Conversations as in this episode are a great way of deepening such awareness and inspiring that return.

  • Rowena Stewart September 8, 2017   Reply →

    We are very sensitive beings and Serge Benhayon is the first person that I know of to shine a light on this irrefutable fact and make it our starting point in life. If we are encouraged to honour this sensitivity within our selves and within everyone else, our interactions take on a whole new quality, a delicate strength that enables us to express our selves with a clear, calm power, completely free of aggression or angst.

  • Gill Randall September 7, 2017   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon is so supportive with this episode to bring us back to loving relationships without judgement to live our lives without domestic violence and abuse. I am horrified that sexual abuse to so many young girls by the age of sixteen has become the norm, it shows how far away we are from the tender love and level of decency we all can be.

  • Michelle McWaters September 4, 2017   Reply →

    “If you hold back your beauty you are abusing people”. Awesome revelation and so true. The subtleties of abuse need to be called out and in this interview called out they are. We can’t address the horrendous burden on society that physical and sexual abuse has unless we are prepared to see the subtleties of the abusive games we are already playing but refuse to see.

  • Tricia Nicholson September 4, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence and the real depth of what is going on in the world in our homes and society as a whole is offered here for us all to really take a hundred steps back to how it has all started, where it comes from and how we can make a difference to what is now considered as normal and acceptable when it is clearly not. A real understanding of the human, and the being aspect to us, and the real sensitive tender beauty we all are in our being that we are living so far away from.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 4, 2017   Reply →

    Until Serge Benhayon’s invitation to expand my awareness I did not consider that the natural tendency for all men is tenderness, caring, genuineness and intimacy, and that if they are anything other than this, the question to ask is ‘what is getting in the way of the man expressing his true essence?’
    I now realize all those times that I approached a man in protection, expecting him to be brutish and insensitive and did not relate to him as the sensitive tender man that in essence he is, I was being abusive.

  • Jonathan Stewart September 4, 2017   Reply →

    Understanding and appreciating that there two aspects of the human being, ‘the human’ and ‘the being’ brings a whole new and far more meaningful understanding of what it means to be ‘a human being’ and how to bring healing to the human being.

  • Alison Valentine September 3, 2017   Reply →

    Our tone of voice is already an indicator of whether we are being abusive or not If a women’s voice is not nurturing and the man’s voice is not tender this is already abusive. It may seem a bit extreme but if we don’t recognise this in ourselves, our level of understanding of decency and respect is already diminished and this is how we can begin to accept behaviours from others that are not loving or caring.

  • Ariana Ray September 3, 2017   Reply →

    I met a couple yesterday who told me how sick they were of the fact that almost everyone accepted abuse as normal, they couldn’t figure it out why abuse was accepted at all. It’s not normal and yet inch by inch we have allowed it to pervade society. It is time for a stop to this and that is what Serge Benhayon talks about here. We cannot continue to allow abuse to run riot like it does, we need to call a stop to it in our own lives and in the society we live in.

    • Rachel Murtagh September 4, 2017   Reply →

      I agree Ariana, we have allowed abuse to become so normal, so part of our every day life that we don’t stop to question its existence. Yet, it is not normal and it cuts the bone… even a nasty look or gesture hurts. How amazing is it then, that Serge Benhayon is calling it out for what it is and bringing an underlying understanding of why and how we have got to the point we have. This is the very start of the beginning at looking at this issue in our lives.

  • Natallija September 3, 2017   Reply →

    Nothing less than adoring another is an exquisite marker for us all. Thank you Serge Benhayon for setting the standards.

  • HM September 2, 2017   Reply →

    We are indeed at a time in society where everything is telling us to open our eyes. For 1 disease to bankrupt us, for abuse to get to a point where it has become normalised reflects we are not wanting to see everything that has come before and say ‘no’ to abuse.

  • Natalie Hawthorne September 2, 2017   Reply →

    We can simply not deny the wisdom and love that Serge Benhayon is sharing in all these episodes. With a deep love for humanity and his life committed to living in such a way that his focuses is on being all that he is, that we too are, means he has access to a wisdom that is so accurate and precise that is delivered so clearly and transparently you can’t help but be fully focused and drawn to watching and listening to it. The lived truth is felt and it is extremely powerful. Thank you Serge you are the best ever.

  • Otto Bathurst September 1, 2017   Reply →

    The depth to which Serge Benhayon takes us is exactly how we need to approach issues like this. Otherwise we will be forever chasing our tails and the abuse will continue – in fact it will increase as the tension between what we live and what we are hurts us more and more.

    • Ray Karam January 23, 2018   Reply →

      Yes, we are at the end of the line trying to redirect it or make it better or even fix it when the ‘problem’ or momentum of how things have been or how we have and are living is where we are needing to look. If we don’t take a whole approach then we are as you say in the “forever chasing our tails” and never actually addressing the root cause of what is truly going on. I guess you can say it can been seen as an disease of sorts in that we are continually moving into the same thing expecting or trying to get a different result.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 1, 2017   Reply →

    If we look at the escalating level of abuse and the decreasing levels of responsibility and accountability, we can clearly see that our strategies of blaming people and trying to fix issues after they have happened has never truly worked. This episode offers a far deeper understanding and approach. As always with Serge Benhayon presenting the topic in a way that inspires reflection, clarity, empowerment and personal responsibility.

  • Debra August 30, 2017   Reply →

    I chose not to look at this episode for a long time, thinking that it wasn’t anything that really concerned me. How wrong I was. Once I started watching I was glued to my seat and could see how when things are way out of kilter, we are all affected, and ultimately all have our part to play in bringing back the harmony.

  • Andrew Mooney August 30, 2017   Reply →

    I love this interview! It brings so much understanding to human condition and completely takes away the adversarial approach or battle of the sexes or the blame game. We are all equally responsible for the abuse that we have allowed to become normalised in society and it starts with how we are with ourselves – simple.

  • Ariana Ray August 29, 2017   Reply →

    ‘When we focus on ‘fixing’ domestic violence we fail to see the allowed abuse that has crept into our relationships along the way.’ This abuse is what is so insidiously settled into what we call ‘normal’. How normal abuse has been accepted in our lives.

  • kehinde James August 29, 2017   Reply →

    Second viewing and this time, I see parallels between society’s fixation with extreme violence, whether it be domestic or so-called ‘terrorist’ related with a refusal to acknowledge the 100 subtleties that went unnoticed before the violence: hurt, rejection, and absence of love. However bad acts of violence to communities are, demonising perpetrators and holding victims as ‘innocent’ misses the point. There’s always a lot more going on beneath the surface and we, wittingly or not, play our part. A revelation to understand the part we play: whenever we allow one ounce of self abuse, we become abusers and or give permission for others to be the same.

  • Leonne August 29, 2017   Reply →

    What an eye opener. No excuse for any abusive behaviour be it from a woman or a man. Discussed with great understanding brought to the reasons why we choose to abuse and allow abuse to occur.

  • Jennifer Ellis August 29, 2017   Reply →

    Wow I loved this episode… ‘hold back your beauty and this is abuse’ sounds extreme but in the context of what Serge Benhayon has presented here, it makes perfect sense. We have become so desensitised to what is abusive… relegating the word to encapsulate physical violence or verbal abuse and aggression, but how we apply the word depends on what our marker has become for being truly loving. And truly loving can only extend as an emanation from us being connected to that love within us. Hence anything less than the fullness of love we are, is less that another will feel and receive while around us.

  • kehinde James August 28, 2017   Reply →

    Thank you Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith for this interview. Rarely has domestic violence been examined and explored with such openness, clarity and sensitivity supporting us to understand what is really going on at many levels. Domestic violence is genderless, men and women equally responsible for the quality of their relationship, this needs to be said. Much to reflect on here and a second viewing called for.

  • kehinde James August 28, 2017   Reply →

    A brilliant exploration of domestic violence and re-definition of abuse at subtle levels. It exposes abuse as a prevalent everyday occurrence in many relationships with most unaware their relationships lack love, decency and respect.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 1, 2017   Reply →

      What you have mentioned is hugely significant Kehinde.
      Once we observe the more subtle levels of abuse and realise that the end extremes are not appearing out of thin air, we are in a position to address the situation when it is not so out of hand.
      But this level of awareness I find often shows us levels of abuse we ourselves are inflicting that we could otherwise remain oblivious to.

  • Stephen Gammack August 28, 2017   Reply →

    The statistics on sexual abuse are shocking, 1 in 3 girls affected by abuse is a sad indictment of the values we have fostered. It is up to us all to change that and role model as men in particular, behaviour that puts respect foremost in everything we do. The more men showcase respect in their relationships the more it is out there for all women to see also that they should accept nothing less than deep care by gentle decent, tender men. Equally women not accepting any forms of abuse is a huge part of the change we need to see as it gives young girls the examples of what they should never accept less than in their everyday lives.

  • Natalie Hawthorne August 27, 2017   Reply →

    When we are not part of a situation that is abusive then it seems only normal not to feel you have added to it. The Responsibility that Serge Benhayon is presenting here means for any ounce of abuse that is happening in the world that we are not calling out as abuse then we are just as equally taking part in it. This is massive to accept. I struggle with this when I see what is actually going on and I know I am not aware to the full extent of what is at play. To make the change and bring responsibility into our world and life starts with where we are not adoring, appreciating and celebrating our exquisiteness in our being. Time to start cherishing me on a much deeper level.

  • Vicky Cooke August 27, 2017   Reply →

    WOW so much is shared here. I work in a Sexual Health and Wellbeing service for young people so to hear the part about sex education and to first talk about respect and decency was really helpful to hear. I do bring an element of this with my work but can feel how there is so much more to discuss with the young people regarding this. The two other main things I heard listening to this today were ‘just addressing the extremes does not work’ this makes perfect sense of course it would not work they are extremes! we need to go back/look back as to why they are there in the first place. But in many situations that is exactly what we currently try to do .. address the extremes like putting a band aid on that will either fall off or to let the wound get worse. Which then brings it to the third and very important point that was raised by Serge ‘the horrors of society are a mere concealment of the amazingness that we truly are!’ Now this is absolutely worth pondering as well as a much needed discussion on. For how crazy is it that in order to conceal the amazingness that we really are we instead create horrors!!! Like hello!

  • Samantha Chater- England August 27, 2017   Reply →

    This is an absolutely fantastic, mind blowing episode, highlighting the responsibility that both men and women have for living in a way that does not in anyway abuse themselves of another.
    This episode takes abuse back to look at what is truly going on.

    • Otto Bathurst September 2, 2017   Reply →

      This is the key Samantha and the world-changing wisdom that resides in this episode. Society needs to be prepared to walk the 100 steps back to the root cause.

    • Nattalija April 14, 2018   Reply →

      The realness and readiness to speak about a topic that is often hidden under the carpet is the gold of this episode and so many offered on this great site.

  • Aimee Edmonds August 27, 2017   Reply →

    I was on the edge of my seat listening to this revelatory interview. I watched it in two parts, so got to experience and observe in-between how abuse plays out in my life. I live with three gorgeous men and I can see how what was shared about men feeling rejected by just a single look or a comment is absolutely true. I knew this and saw it to a degree before this interview but since, my goodness it is life changing and a great opportunity to actually ask them, ‘how did you feel when I said that?’. Thank you Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon for going there time and again to unsettle the status quo in society that we have accepted as our norm.

  • Ingrid Ward August 25, 2017   Reply →

    I love the fact that Serge Benhayon is presenting that men are naturally tender and it is not just something that he ‘preaches’, it is what he lives. It is so easy to observe this innate tenderness in little boys but generally as they grow there is very little support to nurture and encourage the retaining of this natural part of them so slowly they begin to harden. But the tenderness never goes away, it waits underneath the hardness for the man to be reminded of who is naturally is and to make the choice to connect to it once again; and this is what we, both men and women, have so much to thank Serge for.

  • John O Connell August 25, 2017   Reply →

    Its amazing we have abuse at any level towards another, but when Serge Benhayon explains that ” when we abuse some one it starts at self abuse “. The fact that we have committed self abuse gives us the false understanding that abuse is allowed at some level and the more abuse is allowed the more the self abuse grows and so it goes. It’s great to be able to understand that one of the keys to prevent abuse is self care, self love. and self non-abuse and this emanates out.

  • Jonathan Stewart August 25, 2017   Reply →

    As Serge Benhayon so correctly says addressing the extreme behaviours has and does not resolve the cause or prevent the behaviour and that the way, in truth, to eliminate such behaviour is in fact to celebrate and confirm the beauty and tenderness of men and women. What a different world we will be living in when this becomes the accepted and common practice.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 3, 2017   Reply →

      We can only be abusive and uncaring to others or ourselves when we are lost to ourselves. If we are aware of and accepting our true essence of love, tenderness and wisdom, that is all we will express.

  • Rowena Stewart August 25, 2017   Reply →

    It is a powerful expose of how extreme abuse begins with such subtle nuances, the tone of our voice or the quality of a movement we make to another. When we take responsibility for the integrity of our every expression, then we will make big inroads into addressing such gross violence and disregard.

    • Nattalija March 1, 2018   Reply →

      The levels of responsibility you share here Rowena Stewart are paramount. How often do we ignore or not even choose to register that the subtle changes in the tone or our voice has the potential to harm another.

  • Jonathan Stewart August 24, 2017   Reply →

    To have exposed and so clearly delineated that the first link in the chain of abuse is not loving and adoring oneself is a transformational revelation.

    • Nattalija March 1, 2018   Reply →

      Serge Benhayon once again shares that everything that we search for from outside ourselves is waiting to be healed from within.

  • Jonathan Stewart August 24, 2017   Reply →

    Acknowledging the truth of the sensitivity, tenderness and vulnerability of men brings a whole different approach to everything that it means ‘to be a man’.

  • Rowena Stewart August 24, 2017   Reply →

    I really appreciate how we are brought back to paying attention to the details of life, the tone and quality of our own expression, in order to restore harmony. We are all extremely sensitive to how we are spoken to, so surely it makes sense to take responsibility for how we speak to others first and foremost. Anything said in irritation, anger or sarcasm cuts deeply and hence initiates a chain reaction that somewhere down the road can get way out of control. Taking responsibility for the tone, quality and words we use is an essential starting point in addressing these extreme behaviours.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 24, 2017   Reply →

    What if similar to how illness and disease is a sign that we have been living contra to our body’s natural alignment, any unloving behaviour is a sign that we have been faced with something we were unable to deal with and have at that point chosen to abandon our sensitivity and other true qualities? What if every person displaying abuse has already been completely devastated by a perhaps more subtle, but no less painful abuse way back in the process? How would this impact the way we view the escalating trend of abuse in society and what needs to be done to turn it round?
    I love the deeper understanding and approach inspired here.

  • Rowena Stewart August 23, 2017   Reply →

    What Serge Benhayon is presenting here through these interviews are the guiding principles by which we can and will recover our true societies. There are many people who are discovering that when these principles are put into action they deliver robust, loving, truthful and harmonious relationships that weather the usual stressors in life because of the depth of lived integrity. These interviews are a very rich resource for the whole of humanity.

  • Samantha Chater- England August 23, 2017   Reply →

    I can’t believe how refreshing it is to hear this subject being talked about so sensitively, so in depth without one hint of blame.

  • Katerina Nikolaidis August 23, 2017   Reply →

    What an amazing interview on a topic that impacts everyone. Deep down we all want loving relationships. It is in the very essence of who we are. I love how Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith strip all the layers back as to why domestic violence is so rife today – no blame on one gender or the other but really looking at how and why we have settled for so much less in our lives. We drop the standard and the extremes respond. And the standard gets lowered yet again and on it goes – while all along the first most fundamental thread of abuse is the choice not to adore ourselves, and therefore, each other.

  • Rowena Stewart August 22, 2017   Reply →

    This takes our understanding of how to tackle this dire behaviour to a whole new level, one that we can personally take responsibility for, even if we are not victims of abuse our selves. It is very empowering to understand how subtly abuse begins and how tolerating this behaviour then feeds the more extreme reactions. Addressing the low-key habits within ourselves empowers us to dismantle the constructs behind the many and bizarre acts of cruelty so common in our world at present.

  • Jonathan Stewart August 22, 2017   Reply →

    This programme brings a whole new, deep and profound understanding of the causes underlying not only domestic abuse but all abuse that needs to be promulgated and disseminated as widely as possible.

    • Nattalija January 23, 2018   Reply →

      And to look at this at both a macro and micro level.

  • Natalie Hawthorne August 22, 2017   Reply →

    I had no idea that I had a level of exquisiteness within until I attended Universal Medicine and Serge Behayon’s workshops, courses and presentations. The modalities that I have experienced through this has enabled me to connect to this deep precious exquisiteness and I now know exactly what Serge Benhayon is saying when he says it is abuse if we are not honouring this ourselves and that others are also honouring this.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 21, 2017   Reply →

    “Could there be abuse in an underhanded comment, raised eyebrow, cutting statement or even… hiding our own beauty in lieu of protection?” Just considering this question brings up the awareness that we are each so much more sensitive than we give people credit for.
    We can mock those that show that they are hurt so easily, but the fact is every one of us at a deep level register these things and can feel slighted whether we acknowledge it or not.
    A very insightful look at domestic abuse inviting us to expand our awareness and understanding, and deepen the level of our responsibility.

  • HM August 21, 2017   Reply →

    So true that if we do not address abuse at the subtle levels, then we don’t take away the tension that leads to the physical abuse. We as a society are not willing to see the whole picture and the roles we have in abuse in all areas of our life. And this is so needed to change what is currently going on.

  • Leigh Strack August 20, 2017   Reply →

    The beauty that is offered in this program has left me speachless, men feeling the hurt of rejection and women not living their nurturing qualities and it being the tension of living against our natural essence (tenderness and nurturing) that births abuse. Priceless information that supports any who wishes to understand the hurts we hold that turn into abuse.

  • Leigh Strack August 20, 2017   Reply →

    “If we are not adoring ourselves, we are abusing everyone around us”. Self love, understanding, acceptance and appreciation is a responsibility we all have if abuse of any sort is to be halted. Not just when it becomes extreme, but at its roots, in how we care for and live in our life.

  • Gill Randall August 19, 2017   Reply →

    We have a beauty within we are not feeling, and not feeling this, we are abusive to ourselves. Serge Benhayon reveals here so much about how we live.. “The horrors of society are a mere concealment of the truth of who we truly are”. When we know we are so very sensitive, we can feel we are worth looking after.

  • HM August 19, 2017   Reply →

    Another very powerful piece of education. What I find pretty huge is the statement that men are naturally tender. I see this in men who I know, and to see them in their tenderness is like nothing else. Sometimes I can even react to it because they can be more gentle than I am being. But at the end of the day, my whole body knows this is the truth, and that the picture we have painted of a macho man is so far from the power that tenderness brings.

  • Stephen Gammack August 19, 2017   Reply →

    It interests me greatly to explore the role that a man can play in supporting women to feel the support of men who are loving, caring and decent. It is a responsibility that we men definitely have to uncover our tenderness and not hold it back in how we live.

  • Rik Connors August 18, 2017   Reply →

    This is beautiful beyond what we see or normally listen to. You just need to strip yourself back too when you listen to it. Your perception is exposed in every question especially when you listen to it again. You realise that what both Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith are expressing is absolute gold. The truth we can work on and claim as a society. A reality check worth making a reality..

  • Alison Valentine August 18, 2017   Reply →

    Addressing extremes doesn’t work. It is true the murders that we see at the moment through the cowardly and seemingly indiscriminate attacks all over the world are an example of this, the attacks are getting more frequent. As Serge Benhayon presented, we don’t see the beauty in each other and in nature any more. Does a husband adore his wife for who she is and express this on a daily basis and if not why not? These are the things we need to address for we are part of the mass that causes these extremities to happen by our own lack of care for ourselves and each other. We can not blame or point the finger at others without first looking at our own lives and taking responsibility for the areas where we have been contributing to the whole.

  • Gill Randall August 18, 2017   Reply →

    What an incredible episode, it exposes how we have been living so far away from where we should be. Serge Benhayon takes the problem of domestic abuse way back 100 steps to understand this. Abuse happens on so many levels in all areas of our lives before it develops into domestic violence. We know we are extremely sensitive as human beings and we pick up on all the subtle cues. Women can diminish men with the constant undermining and men can make gestures that dismiss women. We need to stop the blame game and start right now not beating ourselves up but living the real essence that we are.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 22, 2017   Reply →

      Just acknowledging how sensitive and tender we all are will be a great start. When we acknowledge our own sensitivity we can understand that the rigid protection we have been hiding behind has been suffocating the expression of our true essence.
      And when we let ourselves recognise the same exquisite delicateness in others, we would not so easily continue to so harsh and uncaring in our behaviour.
      We live in cycles and what goes round comes round. Wherever we stop the abuse and bring in love, honouring and care of one another is a perfect starting point.

    • David April 4, 2018   Reply →

      Gill indeed its not only the fact that we as a society are so far away from truth but the fact we accept this to be normal when it is anything but true. Instead of trying to find a fix to the problem its great to start to get to the root of it.

    • Nattalija April 8, 2018   Reply →

      The steps shared by Serge Benhayon is a stark reminder of how far we are living our truth!

  • Ingrid Ward August 18, 2017   Reply →

    Coming to the understanding that men suffer hugely from rejection has totally changed the way I see men, and it certainly makes so much sense of the relationships I have had with men in the past. Now I have, as Serge Benhayon put it, a “brand new canvas of understanding” and from this new beginning I can already feel the difference in how I approach my relationships with the men in my life. This presentation is the gold that so many are searching for as to why there is a struggle with building true relationships in our lives.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 17, 2017   Reply →

    How is it possible to observe the most hideous behaviours, stand for the fact that they are not acceptable, yet never point the finger and blame anyone? How can a deep love, honouring and understanding of those who end up perpetrating or being at the end of abusive behaviour, go hand in hand with holding personal responsibility as an important and fundamental quality?
    Another conversation with Serge Benhayon packed with outstandingly refreshing insights into our relationship with the issues we are facing in our world.

    • Rowena Stewart December 25, 2017   Reply →

      I agree Golnaz. What I appreciate most about this interview is the lack of finger pointing and judgment and the ability to not descend into the usual victim/bully dynamic we are so used to holding up as the way to deal with violence. When we bring this issue back to how we treat our selves, the quality of our relationships and what we tolerate, our ability and responsibility to address domestic violence is completely transformed. As with all his presentations, Serge Benhayon presents us with a huge range of awareness and answers to our woes, ones that when carefully listened to and implemented on a daily basis can turn around the most dire of situations.

  • John O Connell August 17, 2017   Reply →

    When listening to the recording , I was thinking how the education system has sex education but no love education no virtue education its strange when one considers the beauty of making love and being love.
    And the education system have basically put it down to sex education which is about as Serge Benhayon expressed ” Sex education is about not getting pregnant “

    • Jonathan Stewart August 25, 2017   Reply →

      Yes, John, this is an indictment not only of our education system but is a reflection of the accepted loveless society prevalent today and has been for centuries.

    • Nattalija January 23, 2018   Reply →

      Yes it is a simple yet powerful look at how we think we are equipping our young for what life is about but we are missing the key ingredient – LOVE.

  • Natalie Hawthorne August 16, 2017   Reply →

    W O W so much in this presentation and I was enthralled the whole way. It makes so much sense the depths of issues with Domestic Violence and it is so refreshing to hear someone speak up and call out what is really going on. Rejection on any level is going to create hurt. I didn’t really see myself as part of Domestic Violence, but if I am not embracing and living the almighty beauty within then I am. That is a big pill to swallow. A massive opportunity for us to stop and reflect our part in this. Thanks Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon for yet again a doozy of an interview.

  • Alison Valentine August 15, 2017   Reply →

    It makes sense, we are not educated to know and understand what decency and respect mean, and we are not parenting with these two words in mind. Being aware that how we interact with each other on a day to day basis can be abusive, and is now accepted as the ‘norm’. What Serge Bnehayon says makes sense, we need to tackle the issues of abuse long before it gets to the point of physical abuse. There is so much in this video and I will be back to hear it many times, it truly is a revolutionary way of looking at why we are so abusive towards each other.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 18, 2017   Reply →

      We need to take a serious look at just what we put in our basket of great education.

      There is too much focus on gaining titles and accolades (the fact that in some countries people buy these as privileges shows how divisive, yet meaningless these can be. Also as you rightly observe not much focus on decency, respect and other factors that actually support us to deeply connect to other people, stay true to our heartfelt purpose and live a loving life.

      I can categorically say I have learned far more about life, understand far more about people, and am far more empowered in the world since I met Serge Benhayon than I had throughout my education which included a degree in psychology.

    • Rowena Stewart August 29, 2017   Reply →

      Agreed Alison, there is much to be gleaned from this episode as with all the others. This is setting a new awareness of something we have long forgotten, a return to a level of respect and decency that is our natural way to be. A powerful resource for all humanity to learn from.

      • Nattalija April 14, 2018   Reply →

        The words respect and decency has fallen in our current world climate. To be viewing TV that brings this into the forefront shows that there is a level of responsibility that is lived by others that is calling us to ponder on our ways.

  • Ariana Ray August 15, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic violence is the modern plague, and it is because we all accept abuse. We allow it in the world and do not stand up for truth or love when these are who we are.

    • Nattalija February 8, 2018   Reply →

      The acceptance is the factor here that is often buried with the business of just doing life in order to keep our heads just above water.

  • Natallija August 15, 2017   Reply →

    ‘Protection’ is the plague of our current world climate. It is not then surprising to hear what has been shared in this video about the lengths we will go to protect ourselves in one way, yet harm in a far greater way.

    • David January 2, 2018   Reply →

      Natallija what is great about this episode and what you highlight is that it starts with ‘protection’ and the domestic violence we read about is often only the extreme end result and never do we talk about the root cause and how to heal that.

    • HM February 5, 2018   Reply →

      Great point Natallija – that protection is a current plague – and yet we think this is a necessary part of life – the worst thing is we do not see or register this as an illness.

  • Shami August 15, 2017   Reply →

    It is quite extraordinary the way that Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith are so able to talk about such a huge subject as domestic violence without instigating any kind of righteousness or anger or blame. there is simply a sincere enquiry that is met with absolute love for everyone equally. this truly is the greatest tv show on earth.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 14, 2017   Reply →

    What if love, sensitivity and the greatest level of tenderness, as shown by young children, is actually our true essence? What if any expression that does not hold true to this, is actually showing us that all was not been well for a long time before the issue eventually explodes in our face? What is our responsibility when we have allowed things to get to that point?

    Serge Benhayon is great at shedding light on a topic, so that regardless of our previous history with it, you come away with a greater understanding, inspiration, empowerment and a renewed sense of responsibility.

  • Fumiyo Egashira August 14, 2017   Reply →

    “If you hold back your beauty, you are abusing people” – wow. I even had a problem accepting that there truly was beauty in me to begin with – and I am sure others have felt the same of themselves. That is how far we have come away from the truth of what we are.

    • Natallija August 18, 2017   Reply →

      Yes this quote struck a chord with me as well. How often do we play small with just this one sentence and make everything else much bigger and complicated then needed? In true style Serge Benhayon brings life and our living back to basics.

  • James Nicholson August 14, 2017   Reply →

    Taking all the steps back to the core of who we are to address the issue of abuse rather than simply looking at the last step, the outplay of events. Abuse starts very subtly when at first we do not honour and value ourselves then we lose respect and decency towards those around us. When we use love as our marker then anythign less than love is abuse. Whereas what society tends to do is use physical violence as a marker for abuse, so if there is nothing physical then its not abuse, which is crazy when we look at it this way. I know for me psychological abuse, ie. the way I am being spoken to, ignored etc.. can and has been far more hurtful for me.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 14, 2017   Reply →

    What a gorgeously refreshing example provided here about how we can approach such issues as abuse in our society without animosity and blame, but taking it right back to understanding the essence of the human being and the devastation felt, regardless of gender, when we are not honoured at that level.

    It is very helpful realising that abuse occurs on such subtle levels way before it turns to the extreme forms of behaviour we may now be facing and sets the foundation for what follows. And in this regard all of us have a part to play in ensuring that society is deeply honouring of all people all the way.

    • Rowena Stewart September 1, 2017   Reply →

      It is so refreshing to hear this topic being discussed without blame and anger I agree Golnaz. Taking the longer view at the root of the problem enables us to understand that the root of all violence stems from a lack of sensitivity towards one our selves and another, that left un-addressed balloons into the extreme acts so common today. It puts a whole new light on the ill effect we have on one another when we become guarded, defensive or sullen or when we impose our ideals on each other. We can turn the tide on these behaviours very simply when we appreciate and cherish just how delicate and sensitive we all are.

  • Joshua Campbell August 13, 2017   Reply →

    Abuse happens first when we don’t honour what we feel in our body. Dismissing our body is only going to lead to us dismissing others. It is amazing though to consider the extent to how self-minded our society is though because so often we only think of the harm we do to ourselves only affecting us let alone others especially those we hold dearly in our lives.

    • Natallija August 28, 2017   Reply →

      How often do we do this to ourselves let alone in other relationships? This episode has its finger on the pulse when we stop to have a look at how far we have strayed from our inner self and what we know is truly the way to live as men and women.

  • Lieke Campbell August 13, 2017   Reply →

    Yes imagine for a woman to be adored and truly held as precious everywhere she goes and for a men to be seen and adored for the tenderness that he is and the deep care that he brings. That would be a whole different world and boy would we like to go everywhere we need to go.

  • Susan Green August 13, 2017   Reply →

    Another great interview with Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith. I have always been very upset by violent behaviour and so it was interesting to hear that the most violent behaviour is a mask for the depth of beauty and divinity that we actually are. To fight this beauty enables this extreme to be played out, and the more love that is available to us, the more intense this extreme becomes. So instead of getting caught up in the emotion of it, through a deeper understanding we can see something else much more significant is at play.

    • Nattalija February 4, 2018   Reply →

      Going against the grain in the most harshest of ways is a noticeable by product of how far we are willing to go to not feel the quality we truly come from.

  • leigh matson August 13, 2017   Reply →

    I’ve listened to a lot of presentations from Serge Benhayon and as with this interview the strong theme I feel is that changing the world can be very simple, even just in how we parent, because children are naturally tender and loving and supporting children to be themselves, allows those tender, loving children to grow up to be tender, loving adults. And today’s adults can also be tender and loving the more we care for and support that love that is within ourselves to come out.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 5, 2017   Reply →

      The awareness that we are all naturally tender and loving inside is a fundamental place to start from in every situation. I have at times been deeply moved to hear of the moments when with this level of love and honouring, even the most hardened people have at times opened up to reconnect to this tenderness within them and ended up weeping the deep sadness that had resulted in their harsh external mannerism. You are correct it can be very simple.

  • Ariana Ray August 13, 2017   Reply →

    For it to be said that if we hold back our beauty we are being abusive, that is extraordinary. It turns all the values the world has on their heads and about time. Serge Benhayon, you bring to gold time and time again and change the world for all time.

    • Michael Brown September 2, 2017   Reply →

      It really re-evaluates our standards and calls us to be responsible to our own livingness, not just to what society says.

      • Nattalija February 10, 2018   Reply →

        Yes and the responsibility goes with not show casing the ill but living the truth for others to see and feel.

  • rosanna bianchini August 13, 2017   Reply →

    “Sexual abuse has become a cultural norm” is quite a difficult statement to process, when we see all around us the result of degrading standards of respect and decency. The horse has already bolted but it’s time we reined ourselves back in as a society and take a steady look at exactly what it is we are doing to one another. So many ways forward are shared in this series.

    • Rowena Stewart October 15, 2017   Reply →

      We most definitely need to examine our cultural norms Rosanna, I agree. The way we behave towards one another does not match the level of our technological advancements, showing us that there is a big gap in our ‘intelligence’. Bringing our attention home to the details of our relationships is a powerful place to start, so that the seeds of violence are never given the chance to grow into the extreme behaviours that exist today.

    • Nattalija February 12, 2018   Reply →

      The options are clear – choose to harm or feel the impact of the harm.

    • Ingrid Ward October 27, 2018   Reply →

      I fully agree that “the horse has already bolted “ as far as the acceptance, in many quarters, of sexual abuse. But it is never too late to catch it and begin to understand why it bolted in the first place. I feel that we will have to go back so much further than 100 steps to figure out why, but with the future lives of our young at stake, it is absolutely imperative that we do, as these lives are so very precious.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 13, 2017   Reply →

    “Hiding our own beauty in lieu of protection” causes the other person to feel a rejection at a deep level and is a form of abuse! I love the depth of care and sensitivity to which Serge Benhayon always takes the topic.

    It is never about finger pointing , blaming any one or trying to find a ‘solution’, but to keep deepening our awareness to the sensitivity and tenderness within all of us, and what this means in terms of us healing from our own hurts and ensuring our lives honour each person’s essence.

    • Natallija November 10, 2017   Reply →

      This quote is truly powerful as it asks us to stop and consider our beauty not as a fleeting moment but a constant reminder of who we are from within.

  • Mary August 13, 2017   Reply →

    Serge and Rebecca between them have lanced a festering boil of humanity and exposed that at the core of our being we are all exquisitely sensitive and in trying to protect this sensitivity we are abusing ourselves and each other and calling our relationships normal. This clear expose, I feel that will be a catalyst which will bring about a much needed shift in our society. They have dared to go where no one else has gone before and gifted us all the absolute truth of the nub of our abuses.

    • Vicky Cooke October 1, 2017   Reply →

      This is true, that Serge Benhayon and Rebecca Asquith dare to go where very few, if any, dare to go in topics, discussions and of course the truth. Only today I heard that there is more domestic violence in relationship when a women is pregnant (when her body is naturally in a emanation of sacredness and stillness) so that just tells us what we don’t want to feel in others or in the world … sacredness and stillness in another. Why? Why do we try so hard to not feel this in ourselves and not to allow this in others. I would say DV starts from each individual within first, as we are constantly fighting ourselves not to be who we truly are.

  • Ariana Ray August 12, 2017   Reply →

    This episode is gold – and some. I love that we can take ‘the 100 steps back approach towards decency and respect.’ Something the world sorely needs.

    • Natallija November 5, 2017   Reply →

      The fact that we need to go back 100 steps is a daily reminder of how far we have taken ourselves away from what true potential we have to live.

  • Abby August 12, 2017   Reply →

    What do you get when two people dedicated to representing humanity and the ageless wisdom discuss the topic of domestic violence?.. Absolute Gold, no stone left unturned, a complete blessing for all to watch and experience. I walk away from watching this understanding exactly what abuse is, how it develops and unravels and how to restore a life with no tolerance for abuse at all. Thank you, thank you, thank you Serge Benhayon, Rebecca Asquith, Jonathan Baldwin, Clayton Lloyd and the entire production team for bringing this together.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 16, 2017   Reply →

      This sets the bar for a great TV programme …. and in fact any great discussion. The level of love, care and honouring of people – those in conversation, those the conversation is about, every one else who might be involved as well as the audience – is huge. As well as the amazing insights and wisdom gained, I am supported to be more expanded, understanding and loving in life.

    • Nattalija February 24, 2018   Reply →

      The respect and understanding that is shown by the two presenters reflects the potential we all have to communicate nothing less but lovingly between each other.

  • Ingrid Ward August 12, 2017   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon has certainly set the bar high for the quality of decency and respect for his fellow men, and that’s where it needs to be – simply as an accepted normal in life not as something that is too hard to achieve. We all want to be treated with decency and respect and that’s natural, but it then naturally follows to treat others in that exact same way.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh October 4, 2017   Reply →

      What if decency and respect is our natural way of being and anything less than that is already the first steps of abuse. This conversation certainly turns all our concepts about domestic abuse, and in fact any abusive behaviour on its head.

      • Nattalija January 20, 2018   Reply →

        What is interesting to read here is that when we offer these words to humanity – they can feel the truth but whether they are willing to move with the levels of responsibility that goes with actioned this – we are easily lost in the patterns of comfort.

  • Natallija August 12, 2017   Reply →

    The stripping back of the 100 steps is such a powerful tool for all to use and feel. Viewing this episode, it is so humbling to hearing the games both genders play in keeping themselves short of being what is innately true to us all. OUR AMAZINGNESS!

    • Vicky Cooke September 11, 2017   Reply →

      Yes and we can use the stripping back to the 100 steps with everything in life in order to start to get to the true root of it.

      • Natallija November 26, 2017   Reply →

        If this would be the core of our world teachings we would definitely be on the right track!

  • Andrew Upfill August 12, 2017   Reply →

    Domestic Violence is something which has many subtle layers but when broken back to the perpetrator and victim as it is in a court of law, it fails to expose the origin of the cause and hurt that may have led to the act of harm. There is no excuse for domestic violence – but perhaps there is also a lack of simple understanding too?
    This conversation is brilliant for exposing the belief that if domestic violence is free from physical harm, that it is not abuse, and reveals the underlying cause is a lack of appreciating as humans that we are the same and that our ‘beingness’ is something we can all raise our awareness of and responsibility towards. That awareness can shift the dominant paradigm. Deeply appreciate this conversation.

  • Natalie Hawthorne August 12, 2017   Reply →

    This is such an important topic and we all need to take responsibility for the part we have in this game of disrespect. I can totally remember being a teenage girl and seeing if I can score a guy full well knowing that he was just up for as much as he could get, and all I really wanted was a level of intimacy that I just couldn’t seem to find anywhere else. That this was the only way. Not until my late 20’s did I realise that I didn’t enjoy these kinds of relationships and that I deserved much more respect than this and that I too needed to give that to others.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 17, 2017   Reply →

      The invitation to not just limit our attention to fixing the end issue, but as you have so beautifully reflected take many steps back to deepen our awareness of the dynamics at play is immensely supportive. It lets us see our own part in the situation and also gain a deeper understanding of others caught in the perpetration of abusive behaviour.

  • Mary August 12, 2017   Reply →

    I was absolutely riveted by what was being exposed by Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon. What we as a society have said is ‘normal’ is so very far away from the truth, to me normal is not true. What has been exposed and brought out into the open at last is the rampant abuse between the male and the female. I can say from my own experience how subtle a female can be that can completely devastate a male with out lifting a finger. To me both parties have a responsibility towards each other to at the very least treat each other with decency and respect.

    • Melinda Knights May 16, 2018   Reply →

      We really have a responsibility Mary to honour and respect the sensitive beings we each are.

Leave a comment