Episode 13 - Gender, Toxic Masculinity and The Energetic Hermaphrodite

As gender based violence and exploitation – in the home and especially now in the workplace – attract widespread publicity and condemnation, the term ‘toxic masculinity’ has become a buzzword for those alarmed at the intractability of the ‘power-gap’ between the genders.

With the depth of this conversation often going no deeper than telling men to ‘behave themselves’, to ‘respect women’, to ‘rein in their aggression’, it is little wonder that there is a strong pushback by some men against being tagged as woman haters and sociopaths.

Of course it’s never a surprise that if you ask the wrong questions, you’ll mainly get the wrong answers. The concept of the energetic hermaphrodite, introduced here, provides the clue that we have perennially been asking the wrong questions.

Serge Benhayon explains that our obsession with self-image and identification, equally subscribed to by both genders, acts as a massive distraction that further prevents us from asking the correct questions and making accurate observations that could gain us traction against this scourge.

In conversation with Rebecca Asquith, Serge allows that ‘toxic femininity’ also exists. He poses the questions that allow us to redirect our enquiry away from the assumed differences between the sexes – the ‘Mars-Venus’ gulf – and back to our true natures, where the actual differences are . . . ?

Watch this compelling video and you’ll be able to complete that last sentence.

Oh . . . and possibly gain a totally new understanding of how to relate in this troubled world.

#EnergeticHermaphrodite #GenderStereotypes #ToxicMasculinity


  • Viktoria August 15, 2019   Reply →

    What are we really doing when we cap ourselves in thinking that we are only a man or only a woman?

  • Annoymous July 7, 2019   Reply →

    In our soul and deep in hearts we all know that we are equally male and equally female.

  • Viktoria April 16, 2019   Reply →

    I love these episodes – so much to learn in each and every one of them.

  • Viktoria April 2, 2019   Reply →

    We live in a toxic world where both men and women are tainted, the words of our parents growing up, the actions of our teachers, the insults of our peers – all contribute to the mess we are in. Kind of like a dangerous species of octopus who when in danger squirt venum, killing everything & everyone around them.

  • Viktoria March 28, 2019   Reply →

    To learn that there is a much deeper root to the dynamic between men and women is revolutionary. We have so much to learn, so much to uncover and so much love to share!

  • Viktoria March 19, 2019   Reply →

    Don’t we live in a society which is always and forever in war? There are shootings, bombings & racial attacks everywhere. There is condemnation at every level within the work place, family home and our educational institutions. Isn’t it only logical that we look at how we are in our every day, every interaction & every thought and see how that brings to the things that we all despise. It is very easy to see the horrors of the world & say we want change, to see all the men who are robbed from their tenderness & women from their delicateness. But do we stop to consider how our beliefs, social constructs & cultural upbringings actually strengthen the root cause of it like the roots of an old oak tree, busting the foundations of a three story house – everything is bound to fall apart.

  • Viktoria Stoykova March 15, 2019   Reply →

    When we talk about sex things can get very awkward, the subject brings about shame in many people. But if we honestly talk about intimacy between two people, what fosters it and what robs it away, we get to see that the picture is much deeper and there’s a lot more to discover.

  • Michael Brown February 26, 2019   Reply →

    I love seeing the innocence of a little boy.. it really restores my love for men worldwide in the face of all the behaviours that run riot.

  • SC February 18, 2019   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon offers so much more on this subject then anyone ever! the wisdom presented here makes so much sense.

  • Michael Brown February 4, 2019   Reply →

    The more we break down the silo’s we’ve put ourselves in the more we will see that we are far far more wholesome than anything else.

  • Melinda Knights January 23, 2019   Reply →

    The understanding of the energetic hermaphrodite changes everything, there doesn’t need to be comparison between the sexes, gender discrimination, etc, we could instead each be accessing all that both genders are, whilst we respect and contribute to life within the male or female body. This would also bring a deeper understanding within relationships as we would each have and express energetically what the opposite gender has. We would therefore really know one another.

  • SCE January 21, 2019   Reply →

    I love what Serge Benhayon Shares here, like always he nails it, says it how it is and offers us another perspective that just blows the lid on any narrow minded thinking we may have.
    Great evolutionary stuff!

    • Michael Brown January 24, 2019   Reply →

      Yeah exactly! He understands the current situation but offers the simplest way to resurrect.

  • Ingrid Ward January 15, 2019   Reply →

    Not only does Serge Benhayon expose the prisons, the caves, we have locked ourselves into over the course of our lives, he then offers us the keys to liberate ourselves so we are free to live the wonderful life we were born to live. A great example of a man who is committed to expose the ideals and beliefs which hold us back from our innate amazingness, but one who doesn’t leave us wondering what to do next; the support he offers humanity is endless and totally unconditional.

  • Jennifer Smith January 3, 2019   Reply →

    I’m pleased Serge talked about distractions and took that to a deep level to what is a distraction? We can use anything essentially as a distraction. What do we use and why?

  • Lorraine Wellman December 23, 2018   Reply →

    I love these interviews with Serge Benhayon and how he always inspires a deeper level of observation, understanding, love of people and personal responsibility.

  • Caroline Francis December 21, 2018   Reply →

    Yes Gill, gender toxicity fuelled by the competition in men and jealousy and comparison in women is nothing but a distraction in and from life. We have to become aware (me included) of the enormous harm and the extent of the abuse these distractions brings.

  • Caroline Francis December 21, 2018   Reply →

    ‘Life should be entertaining – if we need entertainment it is telling us something about life’ – what a wonderful gauge to have in life for us to look at those moments of distraction we choose to fill our day so that we live life to the full.

  • Michael Brown December 7, 2018   Reply →

    Life without that toxicity is just too good to give up.

  • Matilda Bathurst December 7, 2018   Reply →

    Listening to this interview helps me make sense of the gender discord we have as our normal today. And we accept this discord because it is statistically commonplace, rather than feel how discordant it is and simply asking questions and/or exploring a way of being that we know inside is our natural and collaborative way. I don’t want to fight with anyone and yet found myself for large chucks of my life, bought into the whole thinking that there would always be some disharmony, lack of understanding and absence of cohesiveness between genders.

  • Caroline Francis December 6, 2018   Reply →

    Where there’s function there is not one drop of love. Function or arrangement – ‘you do your bit and I’ll do mine’ in relationships has become the norm. We don’t know how to be in true relationship because of the lack of connection and relationship with self.

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 4, 2018   Reply →

    There is so much in society that needs attention. It is so easy to highlight problem areas, make a judgment of right and wrong, point the finger and imagine if we eradicate that factor all will be resolved. However with the escalating issues throughout society it does not look like this approach has been getting us anywhere. It is a breath of fresh air when Serge Benhayon’s conversations take us deeper from looking at problems to reconnecting to the fact that there is a far more glorious aspect of us which we have been dismissing, but we can at anytime choose to start living once again.

  • Lieke Campbell December 3, 2018   Reply →

    When we know we are in essence a soul we know that we are not a man or a woman but that those are qualities of expression that can be lived in each moment.

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 29, 2018   Reply →

    It is no wonder that society is not wanting to have these conversations because we want to avoid any form of responsibility and own up to the fact that we have all be contributors to where we are today. We need to suck it up and not hold it against ourselves or another and make different choices. Serge Benhayon is presenting another way of living and for me it has been life changing on many levels and know from my own experience that being willing to see what we have hidden and to get honest is deeply deeply healing.

  • Alison Pearson November 27, 2018   Reply →

    Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised at the call from some in our society to not have their gender on their birth certificate – are we all fed up of being asked to meet a picture that society has given us and in the process we’re not being met and seen for the divine, beautiful beings that we are.

  • Michael Brown November 27, 2018   Reply →

    I love sharing a moment with another man where there’s no competition or macho stuff happening, just a sincere connection.

  • Melinda Knights November 23, 2018   Reply →

    It’s a great conversation because women and men are struggling. Women and young girls have body image and self worth issues (to name a few), men and boys also have self worth issues and are socialised away from their natural tenderness and sensitivity which can result in a shut down of their feelings and expression. Just these factors alone scream out that our views of what is male and what is female are not only restricting but very destructive. No wonder Serge referred to these toxic gender stereotypes as prisons.

  • Hm November 23, 2018   Reply →

    There is such an extreme difference between men and women these days. You could say that balance each other out- but what if each body has both these qualities? The tenderness of a man and the essence of a woman. It changes the perspective when we start to consider that we’ve been pushed into a stereotype that clearly is not working.

  • Michael Brown November 20, 2018   Reply →

    Embodying qualities of both the male and female attributes is a wonderful sight to behold.

    • Alison Pearson November 27, 2018   Reply →

      When we stop competing with each other as ‘men’ and ‘women’, we can truly appreciate the exquisite qualities that we all offer, irrespective of whether we are male or female.

  • Michael Brown November 19, 2018   Reply →

    We are very good at asking questions in a way that we get the answer, or quality of answer that we want.

  • Hm November 17, 2018   Reply →

    Men are boxed into a stereotype. And then they live that and try to become that – it’s eye opening to see how people can take on a role and believe that is who they really are

  • Golnaz Shariatzadeh November 16, 2018   Reply →

    There has been a drive for gender equality for some time, and I have been a backer of that. Yet I could see that something was not right in how many women who were seemingly equal expressed, and in fact how many of the men expressed in the first place. Listening to Serge Benhayon was the toppling point that got me to start to ask what is the quality of that which we are demanding to be equal in and if I was ignoring some significant factors about our expression.

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 15, 2018   Reply →

    If we look at where life is today it is strongly showing us that there is much seeking, need and craving for high stimulation. When something that comes along and soothes our desire it doesn’t take long before we get board and look for something new to keep us more exciting and satisfied. The question is what is it going to take for us to stop and realise that we are avoiding something very big and how desperately needed it is for us to be all that we are.

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 12, 2018   Reply →

    This is a fascinating topic and discussion, I have always wondered what was really available to us, knowing that our gender didn’t define us who we were. Even though I adore being a woman and claiming all those qualities I know that this is only an expression of who I am and that there is more to me that what I have been told that I am. I’m looking forward to exploring deeper and honouring my natural qualities of my Soul.

  • Danna Elmalah November 11, 2018   Reply →

    Gorgeous, newness to this world, or should I say re-introduction. We know deep down that our current image and portray on men and women is false. This episode shows us from a positive point of view what is there instead, and how we are able to change our sight of things. Let us see and be honest what Toxic Masculinity is and how far we have played ball with it, whilst it never was our truth. Thank you Serge Benhayon.

  • Michael Brown November 9, 2018   Reply →

    We’re in a sick place as a society, and I genuinely wonder how far is left to go before we hit rock bottom.

    • Golnaz Shariatzadeh November 16, 2018   Reply →

      If rock bottom is where as a society we need to get to before we start to truly consider what Serge Benhayon is presenting, bring it on. Because trying to refine things or fix them without addressing the falseness at the root of it all is clearly not working. The whole foundation needs to change to deeply honour the love and multidimensionality that is our true essence.

  • Ingrid Ward November 8, 2018   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon certainly shows so clearly that we are not living all of who we are, as we are stuck deep in the ‘caves’ set up by society, and accepted by us. Living, constrained by the belief that we are one gender or another, doesn’t leave us the space to acknowledge the possibility that there just may be more to who we are than what we have been led to believe.

  • Samantha Davidson November 6, 2018   Reply →

    Who are we without bolstering ourselves with the ideas of who we are…are our ideas getting in the way of having a relationship with and appreciating who we actually are? Give ourselves role, say how we have to deliver that role and we loss who we are, be ourselves first and undertake tasks and responsibilities from that place, then we are being truthful to who we are. What we do and have are not who we are.

  • Samantha Davidson November 6, 2018   Reply →

    I love to watch these films, the interviews are insightful and illuminating and it is beautiful to watch the relationship and interaction between the interviewer and Serge Benhayon, it is clear that there is deep respect and equality for one another.

  • Natalie Hawthorne November 2, 2018   Reply →

    Now that is so cool to hear how Serge has brought it to a point where Purpose is what is it is really about. Without it we can see very clearly we are left to be puppets of distraction and numbing in what ever shape or form we choose it to be. Getting really honest is something that I had thought I was getting to but then over time I have really seen the layers of illusion that keeps us in those distractions that keep us in those cells. Exposing this with the inspiration and support of Serge Benhayon I have started to feel and connect to the grandness of what true Purpose is.

  • Michael Brown October 27, 2018   Reply →

    Being around that toxicity in life still makes me quite uncomfortable. I know it’s not right but i’m not quite detached enough from having friends etc to call it as I see it, or just to stand steady reading all that is there to be read.

  • Shami October 27, 2018   Reply →

    There is a loveliness here to Rebecca Asquith which shows her as a very astute and powerful women, keen to ask and to enquire so that we may benefit from what Serge Benhayon brings to the interview.

  • Matilda Bathurst October 22, 2018   Reply →

    It makes so much sense to honour the qualities of both genders and realise that we all have them both. As a woman the more I appreciate my expression as a woman and enjoy my strengths, the more I adore men and the qualities they express. From a steady and respectful relationship with myself, the gender battle, which is so deeply embedded in our societies, has no traction.

    • Caroline Francis December 6, 2018   Reply →

      Yes I can vouch too that the more I claim myself as a woman in my livingness, the more open, expressive and loving I am becoming with men. Nothing is getting (without perfection) in the way of the glorious connection between myself and another man.

  • Michael Brown October 20, 2018   Reply →

    The actual differences are? Well, a bit of physicality but that’s about it!

  • Michael Brown October 17, 2018   Reply →

    The less I pay attention to gender the more I see the qualities of both in myself.

    • Matilda Bathurst October 22, 2018   Reply →

      I agree and when I do this, I appreciate much more the way we all express these qualities in different and inspiring ways – like I recognise a quality in others that I have, but that may not be my strength so there is a learning offered.

    • Nattalija October 27, 2018   Reply →

      A reminder that we are not separate but one in the same!

  • Michael Brown October 12, 2018   Reply →

    There’s much in the way of blame game occurring across the two genders – what if all the energy we put into that was put into taking responsibility for our actions and thoughts?

  • Michael Brown October 10, 2018   Reply →

    It’s great to get a bit of clarification about what ‘the energetic hermaphrodite’ actually means. When you see it’s just one gender expressing qualities of both genders simultaneously it is no odder than those super sensitive boys growing up displaying the most sweetest cute tenderness ever.

  • Michael Brown October 3, 2018   Reply →

    There is much toxicity roaming around – do we contribute to it or do we heal it?

  • Rebecca September 28, 2018   Reply →

    I totally agree that there is toxic femininity – these age old issues are still around today, so something about how we address and talk about them is not arriving at a true answer.

  • NL September 25, 2018   Reply →

    Have you ever asked yourself who you are as a man or woman without your distractions? Often we have not as we call these distractions our identity and usually champion them. This is a great interview that once again jumps straight in at the deep end.

    • Nattalija October 1, 2018   Reply →

      The pictures come flooding in when we ask these questions as the world has made this the priority – what we want you to believe over what we know we truly are.

    • Nattalija October 2, 2018   Reply →

      Jumping into the deep end that gets us to question the ideals and beliefs that have ruled our every thought in every given moment.

    • Michael Brown October 9, 2018   Reply →

      Love this, a question that would expose a lot in many cases, but one that if asked and answered honestly and earnestly provides a great opportunity for growth.

    • Nattalija October 20, 2018   Reply →

      Great question to ask and so hard to answer when we have been lead to believe in ideals rather than offered the truth.

  • Janet September 25, 2018   Reply →

    I am always blown away by where these conversations end up, and this episode goes to the absolute truth of who we all are by nature, which does away with any sense of difference or inequality.

  • Janet September 25, 2018   Reply →

    Serge Benhayon does it again…breaking down false and divisive paradigms that keep us in separation to who we are in our truth and grandness. He goes where no-one else dares to, and brings us back to the common denominator of our divine beingness which has no gender.

  • NL September 23, 2018   Reply →

    Imagine being locked up in a prison and not even realising you are in it. On some level you do know you are constrained and this tension comes out in many ways.

    • Nattalija October 22, 2018   Reply →

      A common plague that exist in our current world – seemingly all okay on the outside but what is truly festering on from within.

Leave a comment