Episode 13 - Gender, Toxic Masculinity and The Energetic Hermaphrodite
As gender based violence and exploitation – in the home and especially now in the workplace – attract widespread publicity and condemnation, the term ‘toxic masculinity’ has become a buzzword for those alarmed at the intractability of the ‘power-gap’ between the genders.
With the depth of this conversation often going no deeper than telling men to ‘behave themselves’, to ‘respect women’, to ‘rein in their aggression’, it is little wonder that there is a strong pushback by some men against being tagged as woman haters and sociopaths.
Of course it’s never a surprise that if you ask the wrong questions, you’ll mainly get the wrong answers. The concept of the energetic hermaphrodite, introduced here, provides the clue that we have perennially been asking the wrong questions.
Serge Benhayon explains that our obsession with self-image and identification, equally subscribed to by both genders, acts as a massive distraction that further prevents us from asking the correct questions and making accurate observations that could gain us traction against this scourge.
In conversation with Rebecca Asquith, Serge allows that ‘toxic femininity’ also exists. He poses the questions that allow us to redirect our enquiry away from the assumed differences between the sexes – the ‘Mars-Venus’ gulf – and back to our true natures, where the actual differences are . . . ?
Watch this compelling video and you’ll be able to complete that last sentence.
Oh . . . and possibly gain a totally new understanding of how to relate in this troubled world.
#EnergeticHermaphrodite #GenderStereotypes #ToxicMasculinity
What are we really doing when we cap ourselves in thinking that we are only a man or only a woman?
In our soul and deep in hearts we all know that we are equally male and equally female.
I love these episodes – so much to learn in each and every one of them.
We live in a toxic world where both men and women are tainted, the words of our parents growing up, the actions of our teachers, the insults of our peers – all contribute to the mess we are in. Kind of like a dangerous species of octopus who when in danger squirt venum, killing everything & everyone around them.
To learn that there is a much deeper root to the dynamic between men and women is revolutionary. We have so much to learn, so much to uncover and so much love to share!
Don’t we live in a society which is always and forever in war? There are shootings, bombings & racial attacks everywhere. There is condemnation at every level within the work place, family home and our educational institutions. Isn’t it only logical that we look at how we are in our every day, every interaction & every thought and see how that brings to the things that we all despise. It is very easy to see the horrors of the world & say we want change, to see all the men who are robbed from their tenderness & women from their delicateness. But do we stop to consider how our beliefs, social constructs & cultural upbringings actually strengthen the root cause of it like the roots of an old oak tree, busting the foundations of a three story house – everything is bound to fall apart.
When we talk about sex things can get very awkward, the subject brings about shame in many people. But if we honestly talk about intimacy between two people, what fosters it and what robs it away, we get to see that the picture is much deeper and there’s a lot more to discover.
I love seeing the innocence of a little boy.. it really restores my love for men worldwide in the face of all the behaviours that run riot.
Serge Benhayon offers so much more on this subject then anyone ever! the wisdom presented here makes so much sense.
The more we break down the silo’s we’ve put ourselves in the more we will see that we are far far more wholesome than anything else.
The understanding of the energetic hermaphrodite changes everything, there doesn’t need to be comparison between the sexes, gender discrimination, etc, we could instead each be accessing all that both genders are, whilst we respect and contribute to life within the male or female body. This would also bring a deeper understanding within relationships as we would each have and express energetically what the opposite gender has. We would therefore really know one another.
I love what Serge Benhayon Shares here, like always he nails it, says it how it is and offers us another perspective that just blows the lid on any narrow minded thinking we may have.
Great evolutionary stuff!
Yeah exactly! He understands the current situation but offers the simplest way to resurrect.
Not only does Serge Benhayon expose the prisons, the caves, we have locked ourselves into over the course of our lives, he then offers us the keys to liberate ourselves so we are free to live the wonderful life we were born to live. A great example of a man who is committed to expose the ideals and beliefs which hold us back from our innate amazingness, but one who doesn’t leave us wondering what to do next; the support he offers humanity is endless and totally unconditional.
I’m pleased Serge talked about distractions and took that to a deep level to what is a distraction? We can use anything essentially as a distraction. What do we use and why?
I love these interviews with Serge Benhayon and how he always inspires a deeper level of observation, understanding, love of people and personal responsibility.
Yes Gill, gender toxicity fuelled by the competition in men and jealousy and comparison in women is nothing but a distraction in and from life. We have to become aware (me included) of the enormous harm and the extent of the abuse these distractions brings.
‘Life should be entertaining – if we need entertainment it is telling us something about life’ – what a wonderful gauge to have in life for us to look at those moments of distraction we choose to fill our day so that we live life to the full.
Life without that toxicity is just too good to give up.
Listening to this interview helps me make sense of the gender discord we have as our normal today. And we accept this discord because it is statistically commonplace, rather than feel how discordant it is and simply asking questions and/or exploring a way of being that we know inside is our natural and collaborative way. I don’t want to fight with anyone and yet found myself for large chucks of my life, bought into the whole thinking that there would always be some disharmony, lack of understanding and absence of cohesiveness between genders.
Where there’s function there is not one drop of love. Function or arrangement – ‘you do your bit and I’ll do mine’ in relationships has become the norm. We don’t know how to be in true relationship because of the lack of connection and relationship with self.
There is so much in society that needs attention. It is so easy to highlight problem areas, make a judgment of right and wrong, point the finger and imagine if we eradicate that factor all will be resolved. However with the escalating issues throughout society it does not look like this approach has been getting us anywhere. It is a breath of fresh air when Serge Benhayon’s conversations take us deeper from looking at problems to reconnecting to the fact that there is a far more glorious aspect of us which we have been dismissing, but we can at anytime choose to start living once again.
When we know we are in essence a soul we know that we are not a man or a woman but that those are qualities of expression that can be lived in each moment.
It is no wonder that society is not wanting to have these conversations because we want to avoid any form of responsibility and own up to the fact that we have all be contributors to where we are today. We need to suck it up and not hold it against ourselves or another and make different choices. Serge Benhayon is presenting another way of living and for me it has been life changing on many levels and know from my own experience that being willing to see what we have hidden and to get honest is deeply deeply healing.
Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised at the call from some in our society to not have their gender on their birth certificate – are we all fed up of being asked to meet a picture that society has given us and in the process we’re not being met and seen for the divine, beautiful beings that we are.
I love sharing a moment with another man where there’s no competition or macho stuff happening, just a sincere connection.
It’s a great conversation because women and men are struggling. Women and young girls have body image and self worth issues (to name a few), men and boys also have self worth issues and are socialised away from their natural tenderness and sensitivity which can result in a shut down of their feelings and expression. Just these factors alone scream out that our views of what is male and what is female are not only restricting but very destructive. No wonder Serge referred to these toxic gender stereotypes as prisons.
There is such an extreme difference between men and women these days. You could say that balance each other out- but what if each body has both these qualities? The tenderness of a man and the essence of a woman. It changes the perspective when we start to consider that we’ve been pushed into a stereotype that clearly is not working.
Embodying qualities of both the male and female attributes is a wonderful sight to behold.
When we stop competing with each other as ‘men’ and ‘women’, we can truly appreciate the exquisite qualities that we all offer, irrespective of whether we are male or female.
We are very good at asking questions in a way that we get the answer, or quality of answer that we want.
Men are boxed into a stereotype. And then they live that and try to become that – it’s eye opening to see how people can take on a role and believe that is who they really are
There has been a drive for gender equality for some time, and I have been a backer of that. Yet I could see that something was not right in how many women who were seemingly equal expressed, and in fact how many of the men expressed in the first place. Listening to Serge Benhayon was the toppling point that got me to start to ask what is the quality of that which we are demanding to be equal in and if I was ignoring some significant factors about our expression.
If we look at where life is today it is strongly showing us that there is much seeking, need and craving for high stimulation. When something that comes along and soothes our desire it doesn’t take long before we get board and look for something new to keep us more exciting and satisfied. The question is what is it going to take for us to stop and realise that we are avoiding something very big and how desperately needed it is for us to be all that we are.
This is a fascinating topic and discussion, I have always wondered what was really available to us, knowing that our gender didn’t define us who we were. Even though I adore being a woman and claiming all those qualities I know that this is only an expression of who I am and that there is more to me that what I have been told that I am. I’m looking forward to exploring deeper and honouring my natural qualities of my Soul.
Gorgeous, newness to this world, or should I say re-introduction. We know deep down that our current image and portray on men and women is false. This episode shows us from a positive point of view what is there instead, and how we are able to change our sight of things. Let us see and be honest what Toxic Masculinity is and how far we have played ball with it, whilst it never was our truth. Thank you Serge Benhayon.
We’re in a sick place as a society, and I genuinely wonder how far is left to go before we hit rock bottom.
If rock bottom is where as a society we need to get to before we start to truly consider what Serge Benhayon is presenting, bring it on. Because trying to refine things or fix them without addressing the falseness at the root of it all is clearly not working. The whole foundation needs to change to deeply honour the love and multidimensionality that is our true essence.
Serge Benhayon certainly shows so clearly that we are not living all of who we are, as we are stuck deep in the ‘caves’ set up by society, and accepted by us. Living, constrained by the belief that we are one gender or another, doesn’t leave us the space to acknowledge the possibility that there just may be more to who we are than what we have been led to believe.
Who are we without bolstering ourselves with the ideas of who we are…are our ideas getting in the way of having a relationship with and appreciating who we actually are? Give ourselves role, say how we have to deliver that role and we loss who we are, be ourselves first and undertake tasks and responsibilities from that place, then we are being truthful to who we are. What we do and have are not who we are.
I love to watch these films, the interviews are insightful and illuminating and it is beautiful to watch the relationship and interaction between the interviewer and Serge Benhayon, it is clear that there is deep respect and equality for one another.
Now that is so cool to hear how Serge has brought it to a point where Purpose is what is it is really about. Without it we can see very clearly we are left to be puppets of distraction and numbing in what ever shape or form we choose it to be. Getting really honest is something that I had thought I was getting to but then over time I have really seen the layers of illusion that keeps us in those distractions that keep us in those cells. Exposing this with the inspiration and support of Serge Benhayon I have started to feel and connect to the grandness of what true Purpose is.
Being around that toxicity in life still makes me quite uncomfortable. I know it’s not right but i’m not quite detached enough from having friends etc to call it as I see it, or just to stand steady reading all that is there to be read.
There is a loveliness here to Rebecca Asquith which shows her as a very astute and powerful women, keen to ask and to enquire so that we may benefit from what Serge Benhayon brings to the interview.
It makes so much sense to honour the qualities of both genders and realise that we all have them both. As a woman the more I appreciate my expression as a woman and enjoy my strengths, the more I adore men and the qualities they express. From a steady and respectful relationship with myself, the gender battle, which is so deeply embedded in our societies, has no traction.
Yes I can vouch too that the more I claim myself as a woman in my livingness, the more open, expressive and loving I am becoming with men. Nothing is getting (without perfection) in the way of the glorious connection between myself and another man.
The actual differences are? Well, a bit of physicality but that’s about it!
The less I pay attention to gender the more I see the qualities of both in myself.
I agree and when I do this, I appreciate much more the way we all express these qualities in different and inspiring ways – like I recognise a quality in others that I have, but that may not be my strength so there is a learning offered.
A reminder that we are not separate but one in the same!
There’s much in the way of blame game occurring across the two genders – what if all the energy we put into that was put into taking responsibility for our actions and thoughts?
It’s great to get a bit of clarification about what ‘the energetic hermaphrodite’ actually means. When you see it’s just one gender expressing qualities of both genders simultaneously it is no odder than those super sensitive boys growing up displaying the most sweetest cute tenderness ever.
There is much toxicity roaming around – do we contribute to it or do we heal it?
I totally agree that there is toxic femininity – these age old issues are still around today, so something about how we address and talk about them is not arriving at a true answer.
Have you ever asked yourself who you are as a man or woman without your distractions? Often we have not as we call these distractions our identity and usually champion them. This is a great interview that once again jumps straight in at the deep end.
The pictures come flooding in when we ask these questions as the world has made this the priority – what we want you to believe over what we know we truly are.
Jumping into the deep end that gets us to question the ideals and beliefs that have ruled our every thought in every given moment.
Love this Nicola, a question that would expose a lot in many cases, but one that if asked and answered honestly and earnestly provides a great opportunity for growth.
Great question to ask and so hard to answer when we have been lead to believe in ideals rather than offered the truth.
I am always blown away by where these conversations end up, and this episode goes to the absolute truth of who we all are by nature, which does away with any sense of difference or inequality.
Serge Benhayon does it again…breaking down false and divisive paradigms that keep us in separation to who we are in our truth and grandness. He goes where no-one else dares to, and brings us back to the common denominator of our divine beingness which has no gender.
Imagine being locked up in a prison and not even realising you are in it. On some level you do know you are constrained and this tension comes out in many ways.
A common plague that exist in our current world – seemingly all okay on the outside but what is truly festering on from within.
Serge Benhayon is a great representation of the perfect harmonious balance of female and male energy.
I agree that as long as we hang on to these dogged pictures of what a man and what a woman should be like we will have a separation and conflict between the genders.
It’s quite astonishing how something so complimentary to one another can be made into such toxicity.
First we are beings, second we are human, third we are the physical construction that defines us. It would serve us well to remember that it is always in that order.
We condition young men to be tough and don’t show sensitive sides then wonder why we end up with violent men? Seems a little crazy to me.
Yes true, Michael. It goes to show that we are all responsible for where humanity is headed…back to our equal sensitivity and beauty or even more in separation to our true nature.
Hm, ’cause when we look at the REAL differences, it is evident that outside our own creations there are very very few.
The toxic masculinity is so important to talk about and discuss in full because our men are in crisis with suicide their number one killer – any society with that statistic should stop everything and look openly at what it is we are doing to our young boys as they grow up.
Toxic masculinity makes me shudder when I see it, primarily because I know the innate sweetness that is deep within every man.
It is so refreshing to listen to an interview where the interviewer and the interviewee are prepared to go to great depth to unpack the subject they are talking about, in this case toxic masculinity. This is true journalism.
Those distractions that men can be identified by makes so much sense and really to be ready to be honest that they are there and what they are distracting themselves from is a big hurdle a lot aren’t prepared to jump. What Serge is sharing about the stereotypical role that we go into you can totally see being played out. I can see how this can play out in woman also, I know I have had several things that I would be involved in just so I didn’t have to be with me and feel how amazing I am.
It becomes very obvious as to the entrenched expectations of men’s roles in society when you read of the negative reactions to a man choosing to be the main care giver for a young baby, or in fact any child. We have come a long way as to breaking down the barriers between what man and women can or can’t do, but this role seems to be one which really polarises people. Sometimes it takes a little bit longer to break through these ingrained beliefs, beliefs that do nothing but keep men and women in separation to each other.
In the beginning part of this interview, Rebecca Asquith gives an amazing introduction in to the current situation of what has been termed ‘toxic masculinity’, and how this is having an all over affect on men throughout society. And what strikes me is just how widespread this is, how it does not seem to be reserved for any particular set or social strata, as it has the potential to affect every man everywhere. It is fundamentally awesome therefore that this situation is being talked about in lots of different areas including this very specific and brilliant area of Serge Benhayon TV.
Our way of life is toxic, and the only way to not be absolved by it is to hate it with every fibre knowing that we are so much more than this.
I agree, Michael. We could say that we need to detoxify ourselves from many different behaviours in our work and lifestyle choices in order to come back to a more naturally loving and equal way of being with one another.
When I first clocked what Serge Benhayon was saying about having the maleness and femaleness qualities being balanced and equal in both men and woman I could get it but this episode totally encapsulates everything that this means and it is something that we all need to understand and appreciate about each other.
It makes complete sense to me that all men and women need a balance between their maleness and femaleness in order to feel balanced and complete as human beings. This teaching has been around a long time in many different traditions.
There is much toxicity in the world today, which is why I love this TV series, it is not touched by that toxicity.
What an amazing reading and expose of human life and a great question to ask ourselves – where would we really be without our distractions and forms of entertainment? Getting honest about our real quality of life is a great starting point to deepen our connection with life and its purpose or meaning.
After watching this video I came to question why to hold on to only the one gender specific way of expression of the body we are born into while our lives can be so much more fulfilled when we allow both gender qualities being experienced in this one body equally. A great question to walk with today.
I love the idea that if we let our soul to drop in.
Then we let go of self and imprint the earth with love.
Since I know that this just Can happen when we honor the body I started my more loving relation with my body.
To prepare her for my soul.
Always appreciate every single moment and opportunity when men allow themselves to let go of those identifiers because of the safety and beholding he feels he can be vulnerable through the connection with himself as well as with women.
So true Gill. A man exuding his tenderness and true sensitivity is enough to melt any woman!
For men to understand how deeply engrained distractions are is fundamental. We can live with these identifiers and think this is us when in reality we are so much more than this. We forget to ask ourselves who am I beyond the titles and what truly is a man in society today
We surely are in need of the true role models that are representing the energetic hermaphrodite.
Honestly, as a man my biggest distraction has been women or its a perceived ideal that I need a woman to fulfil me. I am surpassed by beauty and this is my distraction. There is other things sure but it distracts me from feeling my sexiness, tenderness, beauty … — I go outside of myself to relieve me from living the beauty that lives inside me untainted and pure in love.
Hearing Serge’s realisation when he was young and then making the decision to sell out to what he could see was the best thing at the time is great to hear. We may not all have the same experience like that but I would say most if not all of us would have experienced it in another way where we make that choice for the ‘better’ life, all the while complete disconnected to the truth of who we are.
Yes, I agree Richard. I am exploring the distractions in my day too and it can be very revealing and exposing at the same time. What I am finding interesting is how there has been and are behaviours/distractions that are more challenging to let go of than others and the truth of how I have allowed these distractions to get a grip on me. The more I learn to connect deeply to my innermost, the more the distractions show themselves and become obvious moments in my day to ‘check out.’
Very beautiful interview Rebecca Asquith and Serge Benhayon. I find it very interesting how we as women can react and complain profoundly about the pornography industry yet are ignorant and arrogant to the fact that there is a demand for it because of the lack of intimacy and vulnerability a woman and a man is prepared to go to. We as women have to lead the way and accept and claim the responsibility of the sacredness within, the truth of the woman and stop the blaming and then see what happens to the man and his need for sexual stimulation on the outside.
Great point could the pornography industry be fuelled by a general craving for intimacy that we are not offering to each other?…. and in that craving we will seek anything and everything that relieves the tension of not having true intimacy in our lives, but these relief valves e.g. pornography will never deliver what it is we deep down miss so much. In my experience once you have experienced a deep connection and intimacy with another person and felt the depth of love that is possible, porn is just boring and shallow in comparison!
When I was growing up I thought men were though and that that was sort of normal, that they at times would explode and get angry much more than women do. I never liked this and looked for tender men so I would have loved to have watched this whilst growing up so I definitely knew what I felt was true. It is great that this is out here now so everyone can know it or be confirmed in this.
Love what is presented here about the ‘prisons’ of the models of being a man and woman, and all the behaviours and roles that go with these, and how they set us up to be far less than our natural potential as human beings.
Once again Serge Benhayon shifts the conversation into new realms that always ask us to address our inner qualities first and hence discover we are so much more than just our gender.
Such a refreshing tv episode, a man being interviewed and sharing absolutely all that he is and not holding back in the truth of where we are and what is possible. The potential to live in connection with our Soul and the balanced qualities of female and masculine energies balanced as one.
I find that if I need entertainment or distraction then before the dulling, numbing or stimulation that occurs while being ‘entertained’. I find that I was miserable, lonely and feeling empty. Further back I’ve made a choice to focus on something outside of me rather than being connected to my Soul that is felt and experienced from within. Wanting entertainment is in this sense a warning flag that there is misery and dis-connection occurring. Not a reward or something I am entitled to.
I can really relate here to the references to toxic masculinity and how much of a prison it actually is for men even though we cling to it as a form of safety or security. We think it is safe but it is actually killing us.
I’ve watched groups of men walk into room with arms crossed in unison – showing the guarded behaviours we go into when masculinity is sold to look and be a certain way.
We so need to have more of these conversations. There is so much toxicity in the way we live both men and women. Yes, your comment really hits home: “It is actually killing us”.
I love how this exposes the vicious trap we all have been caught up in, that what we think defines us are actually distractions moving us further away from who we are in essence. Another revelation that totally confirms that whenever we come back to living in connection to our Soul our true understanding and knowing of who we are is activated and we are free to then live who we already are, from a quality within us all that is ever-present. Amazing to feel that we can liberate ourselves and live and power of our incarnated gender through our surrender to our Soul, that which is harmoniously masculine and feminine in its divine vibration.
Yes, Carola, when we start to surrender back to the soul, there are no limitations to adhere to as we feel the expansiveness of everything we are a part of.
We think escape in life is normal, going on holiday, getting drunk, eating copious amounts of ‘treat’ food, having sex, watching TV…there are so many ways of escaping being in the moment. Even being anxious avoids being in the moment..So what is it that is driving us to seek this escape, it is a big sign saying look at how we are living.
This interview certainly gives an insight into how men get stuck in their groove and how hard it is for them to come out of it; especially, as all the men around them are doing the same thing.
Agreed Julie we men get easily stuck into a groove of protection and hurt.
There is nothing but an invisible prison of slavery awaiting each young boy who is not supported to be who he truly is, many of the habits we see most men display are harmful, a corruption and distortion to attempt to cope with not feeling the depth of separation occurring from their true sensitive tenderness.
From prison to purpose and how when we start to get really honest about where we are then we have the opportunity to feel our true purpose. We have to realise the shackles and step out of the cell and simply ask for what is true.
When we reconnect to the soul there is a way to be in every part of life that is richer and with more dimensions, when we are cut off from soul and living from the spirit we don’t live anywhere near the grandness we come from. This to me is really reflected in the discussion on gender and the falsities we live based on ideals and beliefs of what a man or a woman is, versus the fullness we can live with the soul and its true qualities encompassing both maleness and femaleness.
With this the level of honouring of ourselves in acknowledging that we are far more wise, aware and sensitive deep down than we have been giving ourselves credit for, and also honouring of others when we hold them in similar light, is huge.
“If you need to escape from life, then there is something wrong with life.” Oh how simple, direct and obvious once realised.
Identifying how we are within the role(s) we take on in life brings a whole deeper dimension to the complexity to how we define ourselves that mask the unresolved hurts that inhibit the person, the being, we truly are.
Gosh distractions. Now there is a topic! How many times do we distract ourselves in a day or even in just 5 minutes! One of the major ones mobile phone and checking for messages, I know this has become a non supportive habit that I have allowed. It sounds great what you are doing Richard would love to hear more on this.
Another lesson in understanding that deep within men and women lies the same equal essence. The more we release our false ideas about who we are and how we should be, the more we give our selves permission to allow our gender true expression and appreciate the beauty, delicacy and power that lies in all of us.
I love how every subject is taken to a new understanding and level and this is no exception. We do have very toxic ideas about how men and women should behave at the expense of who we truly are, but when we take our focus to the energetic level of life, Serge Benhayon once again opens up the potential for deep change by embracing who we truly are – energetic hermaphrodites who can express the very best of both genders – true equality.
Yes and I love that these honest conversations ask us, as well as challenge us to consider how reduced we may be living, and accept this as normal.
I did wonder what on earth the term “The Energetic Hermaphrodite” meant when I first heard it, but when explained it is a deeply touching reminder of what is possible when we free ourselves of the 3 dimensional constraints we have historically placed over ourselves.
‘What type of life is it when you need to escape it?’ Great question! Also great expose in that when we use stereotypes or coin phrases such as ‘toxic masculinity’ or ‘toxic femininity’ we kind or settle or accept something because it now has a label but not really unpack it as deep as we can go getting right to the very root of it. Serge Benhayon TV does do this however. I feel Serge calls this out impeccably when he says ‘it is one of those worse prisons because you don’t know you are in the cell!!!!!!’ That’s HUGE.
What is so inspiring about Serge Benhayon is that he is so honest about how life used to be for him; that he was no saint. And in this episode, he expresses his understanding of what men are going through as he was there, before he said yes to his soul. This is what makes him feel very real and relatable so that when he presents, his transparency shows us all of him; nothing is held back.
What we become invested in and identified by totally caps us from being who we truly are. I love this example that Serge shares about his choice from 8 years to be the best at sport. And not till the age of 34 being supported to see that this didn’t need to be like that. It’s never to late or to early to expose such a dominating force.
Ground-breaking revelations here – the disadvantages in life experience from what we willingly accept as gender incarceration from a collection of illusory archetypal caves we choose to enter, when in fact our divine right is to be able to experience all aspects of both gender qualities, expressed through the essence of the gender we are living life through.
Toxic masculinity and the feminine version also is something alarming and coming more and more part of this world and the harm it causes us and needs this talk and understanding and the resurrection honestly. The concept of the energetic hermaphrodite and the truth of who we really are without the identification of what we do and the ideals of this in the world. A real honest and beautiful unique understanding and presentation of the truth for all much needed to be heard.
I hadn’t heard about ‘Toxic Masculinity’ or ‘Toxic Femininity’ before but I do know that many of us adapt our behaviour according to the reactions we get from our families and the greater society around us. In doing so we have lost the honesty of who we truly are. When we understand that both men and women are sensitive and vulnerable and we treat each other with absolute respect and decency, then there is a beautiful harmony and joy between us all.
We definitely need to come back to honouring our deep sensitivity and tenderness for both men and women. Clearly, not honouring this has led us into deep and dangerous waters, where we flounder in life for survival and take on behaviours that are counter to our true nature.
Our current society concerns are a reminder of what we are choosing to not honour.
Love what Serge is bringing in about the truth of how we go to escape because our life is not working. To counter this escapism in whatever form we are choosing to be in, it needs to go to purpose. I’m still truly getting to feel and know what true purpose is but when I am choosing it, bam I am here 200% focused, open and ready for whatever is being called for. Awesome way to live and deep down we all know that the current model for life is simply lacking something. Purpose all the way.
Gender should be ‘used’ to support one another with the different qualities and virtues each is naturally, not separate ourselves even further.
Simply and beautifully said. It is far more natural for us to work together than be in conflict, comparison and/or competition. And when we do work together it feels like we are truly in relationship, growing and learning.
‘Deepening and reconnecting to your soul’ knowing that the soul is male and female equally helps all of us to embrace and access the tenderness, the sensitivity that we all are capable of. There is no need to live the society-defined roles for men and women, we simply need to be who we are.
The word that came to me when reading this Carmel was equilibrium or harmony .. a perfect balance, no force, no pushing, no trying when we let go it is all there we do not have to try to ‘be’ male or female.
This shows the games we play and the ways in which we keep each other out and manipulate. And as is shared here – we are all responsible for the level of guards we put up and our resistance to be transparent.
‘it’s a prison most of us don’t even realise we are in…’ is a startling realisation when the truth of the statement is felt. For us, living out our gender roles is the norm, but we live life in cages behind bars with everyone squeezed into the same cell. Serge Benhayon is offering us a feeling of what life could look like on the other side of the wall… with all that space and freedom. It’s certainly worth contemplating.
“Oh . . . and possibly gain a totally new understanding of how to relate in this troubled world.” A skill/trait we are in dire need of reconnecting to.
It is a shame when men and women go for the look of a relationship so that in public they look great together but behind closed doors there is a separation and lack of intimacy which is not at all loving. Not all partners want to talk about what’s not working but if one partner is aware and wanting to evolve, then it is possible that, as they change and make different choices, the other partner will feel for themselves and make changes and different choices.
It is sad that the children go for the activity in school that gives them the most recognition because that is not always the best for their body.
We really are cutting ourselves off from our own magnificence when we focus on man and woman when there is is so much more that we can access from an energetic perspective.
Watching this episode it confirms how misused our media is. There is so much in the world that needs to be unpacked such as they underlying reasons for our toxic masculinity and femininity and media would be a great place to start unpacking this for everyone, but unfortunately it sees it priorities in other less evolving conversations/discussions and investigations for the broader community.
Listening to Serge and Rebecca discuss the male and female roles and how we have buried ourselves in ideals and beliefs which are not working for anyone. I get to feel that just the increase in suicides alone should be stopping our society to ask the question what’s going on here. It is obvious to me no one is stopping to consider the possibility that life isn’t actually all that great. One of the few people asking such honest questions is Serge Benhayon but even then there are a few trying to drown out the truth of what he is sharing.
To be busting through the male/female gender stereotypes is fantastic. We have such a deep-seated entrenchment in a way of being and living that is not true, that when the truth is presented we doubt it or don’t believe it, or scorn the one who is exposing the rot.
It becomes apparent through this enlightening presentation as to how we are so adept at complicating our lives, to our detriment. Identifying ourselves by our roles and identifying some more within the role, each decision takes us further and further from who we truly are which then opens the doorway to the toxicity that begins to impact on our lives so negatively, whether a man or woman.
Toxic masculinity is fed from a very young age, just walk through the corridors of a boys secondary school to see how much the consciousness grabs at a young age.
Competing with men at the role level only takes us further away from living our sacredness and bringing the fullness of who we are in life.
Beautiful sense of freedom to hear that our type of body does not limit our expression or movement.
I wonder if things like football, cage fighting, boxing and other extreme sports would even exist if we weren’t so lost on the true qualities of gender. Feels like without the branding of gender that we currently are bound by, we would be much more free to simply be who we are and do what we are here to do, in that do what are bodies are called to do and I can safely say that that would not involve any self-harming activities for entertainment!
Agree Rachel, these ‘sports’ can only exist if we have first cut ourselves off.. separated from the body and all that is felt. That we would find self-abuse entertaining just further confirms how far we have strayed from our nature.
“The distractions are our identifiers”, this really helps to explain why it is so ingrained and so difficult for men to come back to their natural tenderness and sensitivity, if everything they build into life that identifies them are the very interests that distract them from knowing their true nature and role in life.
Yes, when we are disconnected from our true nature our distractions become paramount, and we create a lifestyle that is everything but an honouring of who we are in essence.
Entertainment has become so normal, it is part of the very fabric that makes up life today. And yet, Serge Benhayon is presenting here that if this is the case, we need to look at what is going on, because this is in fact not our natural way. And I agree with this, as if we look back in our history, theatre, books and sport were all activities that we engaged in as communities for very specific purposes at very specific times in the yearly calendar, as opposed to now when there is no stop to the constant stream of entertainment options, which if we take a close or even not so close look, it is clear to see that there are people within our societies who are struggling on many levels. But Serge does not blame here the entertainment industry, he simply asks us to look at how we are living to need it to be the way that it is.
Being identified by our gender is what has created the world today where we are so disconnected from each other. When Serge delivers the truth of our equality then this strips us from our gender on an energetic level which gives us the space to express all of who we truly are without reservation.
To come to see and feel that the way we delineate ourselves and that which we identify ourselves with is in fact a cave in which we keep ourselves imprissoned is life changing. As Serge says we need to become very honest about the fact that it simply is not working.
Serge Benhayon consistently presents the topics we need to be discussing as humanity – despite the fact that so many of us would prefer to chat about sport or the latest Netflix series. I adore the way he playfully speaks the truth and models to us the way we as people can be – an amazing blend of masculinity and femininity.
I love the way Serge Benhayon explains that our Soul is gender-less, it is an energetic hermaphrodite. It is clear to me that the further we are from our Soul the further we are divided and as a result live in separation between women and men. While we give energy to putting divisions up and shutting the doors to each other due to shutting the doors to connecting to the energetic hermaphrodite aspects of ourselves, we will continue to have gender wars in our society, women competing with men and vice-versa.
Yes we don’t even know that the version of being a man or being a woman that we may be living is toxic. Wouldn’t this be great discussions for daytime TV? or even discussion for the lunch room at work. But lets go there without the blame, lets explore honestly and openly and see how we have all been part of this version of what we think gender is.
I love the level of detail that Serge goes to in talking about the role we take on. The type of builder I am as an example. Always Serge talks to everyone with everything that he shares, so even though I am not a builder or even a man I can see that in the various roles that I have I am a certain way and I am invested in being that certain way. It will be great to look into this more into how I am in life in greater detail.
We limit ourselves in and through life by limiting ourselves to what it is that we see physically with our eyes and what we believe we must be to fulfil a particular role.
It is debilitating in itself whenever we take on any roles and behaviours that are contra to our tender, loving, sensitive and wise nature. When these become our engrained way of living life we are in a prison of our own making.
So much talk in the media about masculinity but it all just cements men in the same old cage. What Serge Benhayon presents here is sublime music to my ears – that we all have access to the wisdom of the universe.
The absolute truth about gender and the gap we choose to keep, feed and widen. What if there is no gender divide… are we ready to live this equality? This is an astounding, inspiring and pattern breaking interview. Thank you Serge and Rebecca.
Is is certainly true that we don’t know we are in a paradigm, its captive in other words, just like the fish doesn’t know it swims in water and that there are other elements. The paradigm becomes a second skin and bulwark, an uneasy comfort and defence and ‘get away from me’ kind of protective wall.
Living a lie in the name of our gender is sure to lead to toxicity. We are so much grander than the stereotypes we’ve signed up to. Serge Benhayon inspires me to live what I feel not the ideals I’ve signed up to.
When we understand the true expression of femaleness and maleness we will know that we are more than just human
What a huge topic to unpack – the role identifiers that put pressures on how men are in the world. And it is true that we play roles within roles to help identify us and have some sense of belonging in the world, when in fact we belong to something so much bigger when we let identity go.
And I love how Serge points out that we have roles within roles, and it is like walking into an invisible prison cell where we think we are free to do whatever we want but we are bound and restricted in so many ways to stop us from being who we truly are, and once we are in a cell we are not free at all.
“What type of life is that if I need to escape it? If you need to escape from life, then there is something wrong with life.” This comment says it all really and is worth ponder on much more. Actually I could spend a whole day unpacking this.
What’s wrong not with life per se but with one’s life as lived and moved on a daily basis and every moment of the day, that is the question here. We keep creating what we then bitterly complain about and feel victimised by.
Great point Gabriele, therein lies our irresponsibility for we do not see our hand in action in our own life or we choose not to. It’s not the easiest place to go to see that we are the creators of what we live and live in. Its always easier to blame another which is yet another deeper cave we place ourselves in.
Towards the very end of this stunning interview, I recall Serge Benhayon sharing that if we need entertainment in life, then we should look at why this is the case because life itself should be entertaining. So, this inspired me to ponder. We must live a very dull and boring life if we constantly need and seek entertainment.
It makes so much sense that every single one of us have an equal measure of love, preciousness, tenderness, ability to be sacred and nurturing, as well as the ability to live the outward expression of such love. Shows up the ridiculousness of the many prescribed pictures of how men and women ought to be, which at best have us live a shadow of the stupendousness that is our true expression.
I so love how Serge Benhayon deconstructs questions we pause in search of answers/solutions, and how that inverts the question back to us to see how when we define a problem, we are already placing ourselves in a rather confined place, almost hoping that the truth would never find us.
I agree – Serge Benhayon tackles the essential questions that we very strangely don’t think to ask and then when you hear them being asked one of the first questions that comes up is why didn’t I ask that question for it is so obvious and essential.
Asking a true question already contains the answer just as asking a false question avoids it.
Love the depth in which you both go to uncover what is really going on. What I see is when a man is with a woman that sees him for who he is he just melts and is able to show himself, same goes for a woman in the presence of a man who isn’t trying to be anything or put on a tough persona, a woman also melts. When we see each other as a gender and the roles we partake in that gender only we reject ourselves and each other and all the behaviours to cope with that come after.
Here we go another show stopper with absolute exceptional insight and truth of what really is at play. We all have an essential role to play in this. There is so much on offer with what Serge Benhayon is sharing that we can either explore and experiment for ourselves and be deeply honest along the way or we continue in a way that adds to the statistics of humanity where our bodies start to tell the whole truth of our choices.
I love what Serge is sharing about how man can be identified by their distractions and without the distractions of life we are not fulfilled. This can also be said for women as well. How much do we identify who are by all that we do? And how much of that what we do prevents us from stopping and connecting to who we are. Its certainly not about not doing anything or going and sitting in a cave to meditate. We can still do all we need to do, but somewhere along the line its about letting go of being identified as a person by this. The questions that come to mind for me here are what does is mean to be a man or what does it mean to be a woman? As a woman I have to say that that is the first time I have asked myself that and something that is very much worth pondering more deeply on.
It’s a truly huge difference, the prescribed way to be a man or a woman, or the natural way we can connect to within and express from our soul. The prescribed stereotypes are different in each generation, each culture, etc, but wouldn’t there be a one unified way if we simply allowed ourselves to be as we naturally are? That natural innate way would be something that would unify us, as although there would be unique expressions of it we would essentially be letting go of all that is constructed and false that only serves to divide us further by creating even more differences worldwide.
It seems that it suits some people to freak out at the sheer mention of the word ‘hermaphrodite’; a bit like a contagious disease they might contract or, alternately, something to be scorned and ridiculed. This interview makes it abundantly clear what the energetic hermaphrodite is and how this energetic state of being can enrich us all.
Yes, Gabriele, what Serge Benhayon presents here makes so much more sense than the stereotypes we have adopted that keep us far removed from our true nature.
Once again, and in his usual open and expansive style, Serge Benhayon exposes the truths behind another area of society which has been functioning in a way which harms us all; the question of the roles and expectations of men and women in society today. The toxicity of living in a way that is foreign to us as both men and women keeps us living so much less than the wonderful beings we naturally are and, in the process, the whole world suffers.
Amazing interview on a topic that is needed to be talked about and deeply explored. Masculinity and Femininity are dominating our society today and we are plagued left right and centre and even behind and above and below with the bombardment of how they both differ and are defined. It is perhaps one of the root forms of separation within our race.
I totally agree with you Joshua. And there are so many subtle ways in which we add to this separation through gender every day without even realising. For example, when we degrade a particular gender by saying something that makes them less. It’s saying no to these comments and gestures instead of going along with them.
I so deeply appreciate how Serge Benhayon always takes the issue past the usual place of finger pointing and blaming one person or another, or in cases as this vilifying a whole group of people, and inspires a deeper level of observation, understanding, love of people and personal responsibility.
We in society look for the answers in the one gender and try to be the true man or woman by getting really manly or womanly. Yet that the truth is in being in balance with both gender expressions and that is what is very beautiful and it feels natural too. The truth is always so simple.
Lieke this opens up such a big debate, one for us to really consider – how have we ended up fighting against the very nature that we are? The fact that men are tender and strong in the depth of care we offer and women and strong in the delicateness they are.
Very interesting and intriguing to hear about the energetic Hermaphrodite that is both male and female. What has opened me into more of feeling sexy like a woman is the sacred movement healing modality (https://www.esotericwomenshealth.com/sacred-movement.html). It actually feels great in the body where you can feel your sexiness. I always clock it when I feel a man who is feminine. I think it is true sexiness and will be the trend of the future.
I too feel the same when I sense a man is embracing his femininity. It does not mean he is doing anything particularly different to the others, but there is a particular flow and presence in the way he moves. It is a quality, as if he is feeling the whole universe through his every pore and the only way he can engage with life is tenderness. Yes “it is true sexiness and will be the trend of the future”. Totally agree.
These conversation just keep getting better and better. Thank you Serge Rebecca and team for bringing these conversations into our homes. There is so much just in this episode.
When Serge was sharing about how at the age of 8 he clearly made a decision as to how he was going to be, so that people leave you alone. I recall similar things for me, probably at a similar age when I did really well at school at a maths test, when previously I did not and I didn’t like the attention that I received, so I returned to not doing so well at school because it was easier and people really didn’t need to take any notice of you. It was like I knew if I held back on showing people who I was, then I wasn’t going to put anyone else nose out of joint and I wouldn’t have the spot light on me either.
No doubt we have all done similar things, which is important to discuss and put out in the open, because it determines how we will be in life if we are not bringing honesty about this.
This would make for some really interesting conversations and revelations if we all explored those moments when we modified ourselves to ‘fit in’, retain a status quo and/or not put others’ noses out of joint. My questions used to upset people so I learnt to be quiet. Knowing this brings great understanding to my default behaviour now, and this understanding is a true opportunity to make different choices.
There is a lot still to explore in terms of how men and women define themselves and who we truly are
So true Carmel, it seems like we have reduced what it means to be a man or a woman to our functional roles as humans and dismissed the beings part.
I loved the simplicity and reality of what was shared in this interview. We have terms now for toxic masculinity and femininity, but terms can, like statistics leave us detached and disconnected from people. Serge Benhayon puts it beautifully when he says, we have the terms but what we really have is a lot of prisoners, trapped in the gender identity and unable to access their equal and complimentary aspect.
These interviews are so interesting because they offer a different perspective of what we term life.
Working in a male dominated industry I have actually had many conversations with men and the aggression and ‘macho man’ they show and the walls they put up are all to protect the fact they feel very vulnerable and fragile and our current society is not set up to allow them to connect to this side of themselves. But when they do they are complete teddy bears as I call them and it is so gorgeous to watch them just for a small time re connect and express from the sweetness they naturally are.
These walls and prisons we have created for ourselves and the way we keep ourselves and each other trapped are horrendous. Wonderful that there are people like you who make the point of offering others the space to step outside such confines and start experiencing the magnificence of their true expression.
I agree with Mary, men are complete teddy bears, and it is gorgeous to be with them when their guards are down. What this shows us is how drastically they are expected to change in order to move away from the tenderness they are as children – that in itself is a crime against humanity.
I love how deep these conversations go.
Delineating ourselves based on gender reduces what we can offer in our lives. That does not mean I don’t embrace in full being in a female body but it does not define who I am.
Lucy its something we never really consider, what if we are all designed to be equal regardless of gender? Equal in the true sense? Thats what this episode asked me to consider.
Because of the gender divide I avoided embracing being a woman, having picked up the belief that it was lesser; with much support and inspiration from presentations such as this interview I have worked through this mis-belief, started to enjoy being a woman at the same time as not being exclusively identified by it, understanding our true equality as energetic hermaphrodites.
Love this Lucy – needs to be broadcast on all the airwaves!
So true Lucy it is not about denying the body we are within nor is it about getting lost in an argument about the gender divide. So much more is lived when we embrace the sacredness within and honour our sensitivity in essence.